Finish the story! New Reality Show

Post by **MOM2SNOX** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 8:22 pm

LOL Christina!! I PM'd her earlier asking her if she wanted to conclude it or continue episodes... she's definitely opting for the continuing route! So I told her no hurries then... if we have to wait in "real" life every WEEK for a new episode on TV, I guess we can wait a day or two for it here! LOL! Let her get those creative juices flowing!! WOOT!

koala1966 · Post by **koala1966** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 8:23 am

Hey, Christina, I'm doing an episode early today just for you!The phone is ringing. Now isn't that what got you into trouble to begin with? You ignore the phone and turn your full attention to your husband. "Honey, I'm so glad you're home, it seems like the whole world has gone crazy today," you coo lovingly. "THE WHOLE WORLD!" he shouts, "NO, NOT THE WHOLE WORLD, WOMAN - JUST YOU!" OK, this isn't really going as well as you'd hoped. I mean, he doesn't even know yet that you've won the Superstar contest, and this doesn't really seem like the ideal moment to tell him. You notice Stephen moving closer to your husband's side, and you remember the gun. Oh, dear, this could be messy.As you gently push Sheriff Foster aside, thinking that there are better ways to deal with your armed husband than to threaten him with the law, two black Suburbans pull across your driveway, effectively blocking all exits. Four Department of Homeland Security agents step out of the vehicles and start up the driveway. They are wearing dark suits, sunglasses and polished shoes, and walk with an air of purpose. Your husband seems to calm down, at least temporarily at the sight of them. You wonder, for a moment, what he is thinking. As the lead security agent begins to speak, you return your attention to the government personnel."Good afternoon, ma'am, can we please step inside and have a word with you?" the man asks. It occurs to you that his polite manner might be a cause for concern, it might have boded better for you if they'd just thrown you into the back of a Suburban and run off with you. You usher them, Sheriff Foster, your husband and Stephen into the formal living room - known in your house as the "Scrap-free Zone." As you close the front door, you see Joan scramble up from the ground and quickly move back towards her house, and you sigh inwardly to think of the story she is heading off to spread.Everyone takes a seat in the living room except for you. As you stand in the doorway, offering drinks, the lead agent, who has identified himself as Agent Tim Coffey, commands you to be seated. You drop into the nearest chair, nearing the end of your endurance. Something about this scene is reminiscent of "Men in Black," you think to yourself. Agent Coffey begins to speak again. "Ma'am, you must understand why we are here." "Yes, sir," you respond quietly. "I would imagine that you have come to ask about my appearance at the airport earlier today." "Your appearance is the last thing they are worried about, I'm sure," your husband growls. You snap a glance at him as you answer, "Not my appearance, my appearance - the fact that I was there at all, is what I meant." "Yes, I think we'd all like to hear that explaination," he retorts. Agent Coffey continues, as though no one had spoken, "We are here today to determine your threat to Homeland Security, and to question you about the contents of your carry-on luggage. Normally we would have taken you into custody immediately and questioned you at one of our facilities, but you must have important friends because someone in high places would like this handled delicately." You mentally start preparing a list of all the Stickgals that could possibly have those types of contacts and draw a complete blank.As the officer continues to talk, one of his men, Agent Michael Miller, you think he said, receives a call on his cell phone. He excuses himself and steps into your kitchen. You hear him gasp and you realize that you probably haven't done dishes in a few days - 7 to be exact. Well, you weren't expecting company until Saturday and Daisy D (the maid) has been on vacation, so there was nothing that could be done about that. You really hope they don't start to question you about her, she never has given you her full name and you're not sure she has the appropriate working papers, all you know is that she can organize paper like nobody's business and she does toilets and floors too."As I was saying, we need to determine why you were in such a hurry to travel to Saginaw, Michigan." "Well," you begin, only to be abruptly interrupted by your husband, "Saginaw, what in the hell is in Saginaw?! Joan said you were going to see Stephen." "Yes," you reply, "I was going to see Stephen, with A Cherry on Top." "What," your husband manages to grunt, obviously becoming frustrated again, "is that some kind of code between you two? Some kind of S&M tricks?" "What are you talking about?" you ask, bewildered, and then realize that he might not understand what A Cherry on Top is. "No, dear," you explain patiently, "I mean the store, A Cherry on Top, it used to be Stickers Galore

Post by **MOM2SNOX** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 11:28 am

Thanks for the early show koala! You are so talented and I'm loving it!And I can soooooo imagine this as a real series!!!

Nanna-Star · Post by **Nanna-Star** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 8:14 pm

Then...........? then...........????????I will have to go out & buy the DVD! I can't wait to find out the end? Lovin this thread! daisy D the maid? Too Funny! Sherrif Foster? Tim Coffey? etc etc. So funny. You are a CLEVER girl!bttbttChristina

koala1966 · Post by **koala1966** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 6:43 pm

You are excitedly rattling off the many uses of the sandpaper that Agent Coffey is holding up, having already educated him on the uses of acrylic paints, the Xyron X machine, the Making Memories toolkit, and the now infamous Doodlebug Rubon tool, when Agent Miller reenters the room. You pause in your description of distressing as you notice the sheepish look on his face. He quietly asks Agent Coffey to join him in the other room, and so the questioning about your carry-on items grinds to a halt as they walk out. You glance over at your husband and quickly divert your gaze to Sheriff Foster when you notice the shell-shocked look on his face. Maybe he just needs more time for this to sink in.There is quite a bit of conversation going on in the other room, and part of it appears to revolve around the ACOT message board, but you were drilling holes in CDs this morning to start altering them for Christmas ornaments and rearview mirror hangings, plus there was the hour you spent in the very loud cargo hold of the airplane at 20,000 feet, so your hearing is still a little off. You make out bits and pieces of what they are saying, you definitely heard "melis_ga", "amerika", "rubons and the Xyron 150" and then "she says that in the Debate Forum they've completed the new suggested guidelines and

Lindsay · Post by **Lindsay** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:50 pm

I was wondering what this whole thread was about...Koala, you're brilliant. Ok, I'm now caught up, continue please!

momofthree · Post by **momofthree** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:53 pm

i cant wait until the next one, it just keeps getting better and better!!

Post by **MOM2SNOX** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 11:00 pm

OMG.. I'm pee'ing... seriously! Gonna check to see if I've got any Depends coupons!Koala! You are a riot! And I'm loving every minute of this soap opera!

Nanna-Star · Post by **Nanna-Star** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 11:31 pm

Thank you for easing the agony for me by continuing with the Saga.I used to turn on the computer for my emails & pms. Now I have this story added to the essential actions to start my day!Christinabtt

corvettecarey · Post by **corvettecarey** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:58 am

Oh my goodness! This is great!!!

koala1966 · Post by **koala1966** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 6:02 pm

You watch as your husband shifts into full rant mode. You shouldn't be surprised by what he says next, but somehow you are."Now, listen here, when I saw you guys pull up I thought finally, I will get to see my tax dollars at work." Your husband makes a sweeping gesture at the federal agents. "Sure, I'm relieved that it doesn't look like my wife will become the next Martha Stewart - used by the government to make an example of her to all the other 'wives gone wild' out there. I wasn't looking forward to sharing her with the Criminal Justice System, especially after I found out she hadn't run off with another man. But at the very least, this woman NEEDS Scrapbook-Detox! A 12-step program, electro-shock therapy, solitary confinment until the withdrawal from rubons and sandpaper passes, a little blue happy pill that removes the will to preserve memories, SOMETHING! What she DOESN'T need is a chauffeur to her next scrapbook retreat!"Here he is, your loving dh, trying to sell you down the river. Where's all the appreciation for the numerous fishing trip layouts you've completed showcasing his great catches? Doesn't he remember how his family raved last year over the perfect family portrait you sent out at Christmas time? Doesn't he recall that he is now his mother's favorite child because of the album you slaved over to make the best Mother's Day gift ever? You're starting to wonder if the disappearance of your Creative Memories paper trimmer isn't so mysterious after all."I'm sorry, sir, but the government doesn't recognize scrapbooking as an addictive substance. The Surgeon General hasn't put out any memory preservation warnings, so we are not authorized to offer any assistance in this area. It's legal in all 50 states and the territory of Puerto Rico to spend hours obsessing over which shade of blue Doodlebug rubons match the newest Chatterbox collection." Agent Miller responds, somewhat sarcastically you think.Your husband will have none of it. "Are you sure there is no 'Heidi Swapp Clinic' - she seems to be a hardcore addict, my wife talks about her all the time."Agent Miller rolls his eyes, and speaks with an exaggerated slowness, as though talking to a child, "Heidi Swapp has her own line of products, your wife must have a great eye for design if she's caught up in the Heidi Swapp craze."You decide to follow up on a hunch, "Agent Miller, does your wife scrapbook?" "Actually," he responds, "I'm the scrapbooker in my family." "Ah, I see," your husband turns his attention to Agent Coffey, hoping for a sane ally. "I'm sorry sir, but I'm not authorized to go against a direct order from the first family or the CIA." Agent Coffey shrugs his shoulders.You really hope that your husband doesn't take matters into his own hands, you've never seen his face that shade of purple before.

Post by **MOM2SNOX** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 7:22 pm

Oh no! Not the agent too!! ROFLMAO!What will DH (what the heck is his name anyway!! LOL!) do? Who can he turn to? Will the Mad Scrapper get her way or will she whisked away to a detox center for the notoriously addictive! Stay tune for more ..... (Need a title folks!!)

koala1966 · Post by **koala1966** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 7:28 pm

LOL, Mom2Snox, you crack me up! - can't name the dh because he could belong to ANY of US! A title is a great idea... you should start another POLL! We can never get enough of those, lol. Mad Scrapper, lol.

Nanna-Star · Post by **Nanna-Star** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 5:36 am

I am so addicted to this thread Do I need to go into the Detox Clinic also?Actually, all I need is another instalment! [LOL!]Poor Koala1966, you now know what it is like to have someone demanding that you feed their habit...............Christinabtt

ScrapSis · Post by **ScrapSis** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 8:38 am

This is such a hoot!!! Titles - Here are a couple that hit me late last night: As The Paper Tears All My Albums The Simple and The Embellished

Post by **MOM2SNOX** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:10 am

Ok Koala! I see your point as ffar as naming the DH... so for the time being, we'll leave him simple as, "DH"!Tina! Those titles rock!! As soon as I get a few more, we'll do a poll!!Personally, I'm leaning toward the last one!

Queen Mum · Post by **Queen Mum** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 12:53 pm

Post by **MOM2SNOX** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 1:09 pm

Thanks Glo!Any more title suggestions anyone???!!

Queen Mum · Post by **Queen Mum** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 1:29 pm

As you reflect on the color of your DH's face you wonder if you can capture that particular shade of purple with your digital - and is it possible that you have a coordinating shade of bazzil???

koala1966 · Post by **koala1966** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:38 pm

LOL, QueenMum, my thoughts exactly!!You are interrupted from your musings by the slamming of the screen door. Your children come running into the living room."MOM! MOM! We saw you on TV!" Their faces are red with excitement and the youngest is bouncing up and down for joy. "Mom, they were showing you on TV at school today! Was that staged for one of your scrapbook layouts? Everyone thought it was SO funny! That would make a great layout." Well, at least not eveyrone in your family has turned against you. You are really raising these kids right."Not exactly, sweetie, but it did get your mom a visit by real federal agents.""Cool beans, wait, I'll get the digital." Before you can stop her your daughter races into the office and comes back out with your Sony Cybershot. The feds agree to pose with you and DD does you proud getting some great pictures to scrap."Hey, Dad, isn't this the coolest?" your son chirps in. Your husband, not wanting to be the bad guy, begrudgingly grunts an agreement."Are you ready to go, ma'am?" Agent Coffey asks. "We've got your carry-on luggage right here, although you may want to pack an overnight bag." "Where are you going?" your children pipe up in unison. "Mom's won the Superstar Contest, I'm going to meet with Stephen and Kristin." You can't believe you almost forgot to tell them after all their patient posing and the long hours they spent ironing dry your homemade dyed accents. That reminds you to drop a note to Creating Keepsakes thanking them for the article on dying your own accents, it's your new favorite technique. "Wow, Mom, congratulations. Don't forget to take lots of pictures. Don't worry, we'll behave for Dad." As your daughter is reassuring you, your son comes charging down the stairs with an overnight bag all packed for you. You allow the feds to usher you out to one of the suburbans after you kiss your family goodbye, acutely aware that all eyes in the neighborhood are on you. Although curiously you don't see Joan anywhere in the crowd. She must be burning up her phone lines spreading her edited version of the story."What airport are we flying out of?" you ask. Agent Coffey surprises you, "It's a local airstrip, ma'am. We're flying Air Force One." "Wow, one might think this is a matter of national security," you giggle. The agents remain stone-faced, even Agent Miller has clammed up. You try to draw him into a conversation about the latest and greatest in brads, but after a glance at Agent Coffey he says, "We have to concentrate at the task on hand." So you sit in an uneasy silence for the rest of the ride. All that is forgotten as Air Force One comes into view...Edited for spelling