Information

[QueenBee89]

I scrap because I enjoy it. I enjoy the creative process and making something pretty or getting my thoughts down in paper.  I hope that my girls might want to look through the albums someday,  but if they don't that's fine too. I will eventually put together a baby book type album for their first year,  but I'm not stressing about it. I don't scrap everything or worry about catching up or do it in chronological order. I do use ring albums so I can't put my pages in the album in approx chronological order whenever i finish them. I don't think scrapbooks need to be a record of everything on my life,  just snapshots of my life at different times.  

My suggestion would be to think about why you're scrapping and for whom.  If it's just for you,  would seeing a page of the wedding make you think of your friend and smile or make you feel sad?  Can you get a photo of your sister's wedding and scrap that along with journaling about why you couldn't attend? 

This is part of my dilemma for sure. When I started scrapbooking, it was a way to hold all my photos from events and trips (pre digital camera days!) - but now as I get back into it, it is morphing into more of a love for the process of creating layouts. I am somewhere in between the “need to record it all” and “I just want to make pretty things that make me happy” mindset for sure! 
 

[aheatfan]

Ok, so let me jump on your question if you don't mind............

I was never much of a scrapbooker. I started off doing a few pages here and there. At that time my middle child had just finished her middle school class trip to Toronto. I did an album for her. I started doing some other pages and then life happened and things got really busy and I didn't get together with my scrappin' group and my scrapping stopped. I would love to do more of our family trips in scrapbooks. 

Here is my dilemma. That was years ago, that middle schooler is now in her 30s. As a historian and art history major, it is all about the details in my journaling.  Too long ago to remember all of those things and in the right order. I have 3 kids, so, if I make one album for each trip.......what happens down the road, who gets what, if anyone wants any of it. The last few decades, phones have pretty much taken over the need of many cameras. To top that off, I can't remember the last time we printed off any photos. So much that is captured doesn't get shared as much any more...............

How to even begin "catching up"?????

thanks for the question, and the opportunity to figure out what and how to move forward, while looking back. 

condo

ps. I'm a perfectionist so also a procrastinator 

I have also often had the “what’s going to come of these albums someday” thoughts, and I am your daughters age! I have come to terms with the fact that my boys may not want these, but it’s my hobby and I enjoy it so I continue with doing it. My husband is always saying we can use the albums to remind us of memories as we age, which is precisely why we scrapbook! So lucky to have his blessing in this space intensive hobby, haha! 

As far as your albums, what if you asked your children for specific memories from each trip and started there? Maybe you could compile a memory book for each of them based off of what they each remember from the given event? 

When my grandfather passed 11 years ago, no one else was interested in the boxes of photos he had (my grandmother had passed 5 years prior), so I took them bc I hated the thought of them being thrown away. So now I have hundreds of photos from the 1950s to the early 2000s of my grandparents, my mom and her siblings, and my cousins. I have memories of the later years and I am pondering (aka overthinking) how to record these stories. 

I think at the end of the day, there really is no right way to do any of this. But I have a feeling most scrapbookers have some degree of perfectionism in them so we always just worry we are doing it wrong!  

I have struggled with this so much.  I finally came to a place of peace and accepted that I do this for ME as a way to relieve stress, relive precious memories and document our stories. If my boys throw them in the trash (which they have promised they won't) then that is their choice. I did my part in documenting their lives and experiences. 
 

[beachlover]

Brandi, I would definitely scrap everything and why!  Esp missing your sister's wedding!

I have a great nephew that I have not seen yet and he just turned 2 months.  But they all
just went through having Covid, even the baby!  My niece and her husband were really big
about getting all the shots.  My husband and I completely disagree.  We worry about the long
term effects, which NO ONE has mentioned!  I rarely leave the house since I am not working and
other than morning meetings  with the bosses, hubby is in his office most of the time.  We do go 
out to eat once or twice a month.  I do drive up grocery shopping at Walmart, have my wine and
other liquors delivered (lol) and go into the grocery store 1x a month for fresh produce and meats. 
We are about the only ones in the family who (thank you, Lord) have not had Covid! 

My point, DD and I were unable to attend my niece's baby shower because my niece was afraid of getting
it, even though she was fully vaccinated.  She just had to go back to work the end of May at a HS and guess
what?  She got it, and then took it home to her husband and tiny baby!

Did not mean to go off on the Covid thing, but it really has affected us ALL even if we did not actually get sick!
As for your good friend, REACH OUT!!  Now that you are both married and have children, you can still get together; 
you are on the same page and have even more in common now.  Instead of nights out having wine and dancing, it 
may be picnics and playtime at the park, but its just a whole different point in your lives!  And more to scrap!

[QueenBee89]

Brandi, I would definitely scrap everything and why!  Esp missing your sister's wedding!

I have a great nephew that I have not seen yet and he just turned 2 months.  But they all
just went through having Covid, even the baby!  My niece and her husband were really big
about getting all the shots.  My husband and I completely disagree.  We worry about the long
term effects, which NO ONE has mentioned!  I rarely leave the house since I am not working and
other than morning meetings  with the bosses, hubby is in his office most of the time.  We do go 
out to eat once or twice a month.  I do drive up grocery shopping at Walmart, have my wine and
other liquors delivered (lol) and go into the grocery store 1x a month for fresh produce and meats. 
We are about the only ones in the family who (thank you, Lord) have not had Covid! 

My point, DD and I were unable to attend my niece's baby shower because my niece was afraid of getting
it, even though she was fully vaccinated.  She just had to go back to work the end of May at a HS and guess
what?  She got it, and then took it home to her husband and tiny baby!

Did not mean to go off on the Covid thing, but it really has affected us ALL even if we did not actually get sick!
As for your good friend, REACH OUT!!  Now that you are both married and have children, you can still get together; 
you are on the same page and have even more in common now.  Instead of nights out having wine and dancing, it 
may be picnics and playtime at the park, but its just a whole different point in your lives!  And more to scrap!

It is so easy to go off on a tangent regarding Covid, it’s been so difficult for us as well. 

Thanks for the encouragement to reach out, there was no big falling out, so I do believe we could rekindle the friendship. 
 

[SandyJay]

Here’s another perspective. I look at life as a book. This book has many chapters. I chose not to scrapbook a wedding vow renewal because they ended in divorce, but she is remarried and extremely happy. I am contemplating putting some photos together from that event of some fun times, she and I or just my husband and I.

An another note, I scrapbooked a friend of mine I had for a long time, but lost touch. It was a chapter in my life. We both drifted apart. Again, like others, no reason. just part of my journey through life. It is a personal decision.

Now, my ex-fiancé who cheated on me??? Tore those all up!!!

So maybe, if you choose to scrap a lost friend, you could preface it with this?

SOME FRIENDS COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON,
SOME FRIENDS COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A SEASON, (and I added)
AND SOME FRIENDS ARE THE RAREST OF ALL THAT COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOREVER.

And I agree with beachlover….REACH OUT!!

[shoorn]

I would do a page or two about your friends wedding and being in her wedding party. It is part of your history after all. She was part of your life back then. Life goes on and we change and grow. 

As for the wedding missed due to Covid and having a newborn - definitely scrap it and journal about it. This is what we do as scrapbookers - tell our story and this would be part of your story.  

[QueenBee89]

Here’s another perspective. I look at life as a book. This book has many chapters. I chose not to scrapbook a wedding vow renewal because they ended in divorce, but she is remarried and extremely happy. I am contemplating putting some photos together from that event of some fun times, she and I or just my husband and I.

An another note, I scrapbooked a friend of mine I had for a long time, but lost touch. It was a chapter in my life. We both drifted apart. Again, like others, no reason. just part of my journey through life. It is a personal decision.

Now, my ex-fiancé who cheated on me??? Tore those all up!!!

So maybe, if you choose to scrap a lost friend, you could preface it with this?

SOME FRIENDS COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON,
SOME FRIENDS COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A SEASON, (and I added)
AND SOME FRIENDS ARE THE RAREST OF ALL THAT COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOREVER.

And I agree with beachlover….REACH OUT!!

That’s such a great quote! I do lean towards including the photos in my scrapbook for that year. My parents, and now husband, then-fiancé, attended the wedding as well, so I have photos of them that I would also include. 

[Jolly Holly Scraps]

I love these questions Brandi!
I STILL have tons of stuff I have scrapbooked (yet) INCLUDING some pics of me an old high school bestie that disowned me, too. I thought about including hidden journaling in a mini file folder or library pocket, just basically saying, we spent x amount of time doing this and that, and then these things happened and then she dropped me, and express my pain. I mentioned that we were no longer friends in one LO maybe, but I haven't talked too much about it, but maybe this is the push that I need to do so? *Incidentally, I feel better talking about it now, and knowing that someone else has been through something similar. Doin a LO about this seems therapautic.
I mean, I have done LOs with pictures of us or whatever, but I don't think I've mentioned many friendships in my scrapbooks and I think I need to break out some extra old photos and make some LOs about friendships that I've had before, about that time of my life, AND ALSO, years back I did scrapbook about an ex broke my heart- you know it was VERY therapautic. I'm slowly trying to scrap about my late DH impacted my life- specifically, I need to get out some more about how his passing changed my life, too. I feel like a jerk sometimes because I haven't talked to any of his family and friends in a long time..... You've got me brainstorming, but here's a thing- for all the happiness that I show in my scrapbooks, I have noticed that I have managed to share a few of the sadder real life moments, too. ... Some things just take time to talk about. (i.e., an ex broke an engagement, dark chapters in life...)
Although, I ALSO have tons of photos from the past to scrap, some stories take longer to tell, or to figure out to tell them- the good and the bad.
Alternatively, how do YOU feel about having these pictures around? If they make you feel strong feelings then you may want to scrap them but maybe you want to do a lot of journaling, too. Sometimes when it's a sad/negative I just journal and go from there. Of course, If it's a beautiful photo that I love for artistic reasons- then it usually makes me feel post and then I either have to scrap it (where I would hide the sad part of my journaling). Or use it in another type of art project. Put it in a frame, etc. .... The beautiful thing about scrapbooking is that we have LOTS of OPTIONS! (✷‿✷)
For your sister's wedding, DEFINITELY scrap it, even though you could not psychically be there- I would do some journaling about having to miss it, but it's up to you how you want to do the journaling. Of course, Sometimes I just hide PART of my journaling. AND, I ALSO have a sister who's wedding I couldn't make it to- but still have included an adorable picture of them as a couple.
I ALSO have family members that send me pictures sometimes because they KNOW I love to scrapbook! And it surprised them sometimes when I include something about them. ｡◕‿◕｡

[QueenBee89]

I would do a page or two about your friends wedding and being in her wedding party. It is part of your history after all. She was part of your life back then. Life goes on and we change and grow. 

As for the wedding missed due to Covid and having a newborn - definitely scrap it and journal about it. This is what we do as scrapbookers - tell our story and this would be part of your story.  

This is definitely the direction I’m leaning in both regards, but was very curious as to others perspectives! 

I often think about how our children (so, cousins) (she is expecting her first) will view her wedding photos and wonder why my family is missing. My brother attended, but only with his older daughter, so there’s quite a few missing family members. I think telling the story of the craziness that was 2020 is so important! 

[QueenBee89]

I love these questions Brandi!
I STILL have tons of stuff I have scrapbooked (yet) INCLUDING some pics of me an old high school bestie that disowned me, too. I thought about including hidden journaling in a mini file folder or library pocket, just basically saying, we spent x amount of time doing this and that, and then these things happened and then she dropped me, and express my pain. I mentioned that we were no longer friends in one LO maybe, but I haven't talked too much about it, but maybe this is the push that I need to do so? *Incidentally, I feel better talking about it now, and knowing that someone else has been through something similar. Doin a LO about this seems therapautic.
I mean, I have done LOs with pictures of us or whatever, but I don't think I've mentioned many friendships in my scrapbooks and I think I need to break out some extra old photos and make some LOs about friendships that I've had before, about that time of my life, AND ALSO, years back I did scrapbook about an ex broke my heart- you know it was VERY therapautic. I'm slowly trying to scrap about my late DH impacted my life- specifically, I need to get out some more about how his passing changed my life, too. I feel like a jerk sometimes because I haven't talked to any of his family and friends in a long time..... You've got me brainstorming, but here's a thing- for all the happiness that I show in my scrapbooks, I have noticed that I have managed to share a few of the sadder real life moments, too. ... Some things just take time to talk about. (i.e., an ex broke an engagement, dark chapters in life...)
Although, I ALSO have tons of photos from the past to scrap, some stories take longer to tell, or to figure out to tell them- the good and the bad.
Alternatively, how do YOU feel about having these pictures around? If they make you feel strong feelings then you may want to scrap them but maybe you want to do a lot of journaling, too. Sometimes when it's a sad/negative I just journal and go from there. Of course, If it's a beautiful photo that I love for artistic reasons- then it usually makes me feel post and then I either have to scrap it (where I would hide the sad part of my journaling). Or use it in another type of art project. Put it in a frame, etc. .... The beautiful thing about scrapbooking is that we have LOTS of OPTIONS! (✷‿✷)
For your sister's wedding, DEFINITELY scrap it, even though you could not psychically be there- I would do some journaling about having to miss it, but it's up to you how you want to do the journaling. Of course, Sometimes I just hide PART of my journaling. AND, I ALSO have a sister who's wedding I couldn't make it to- but still have included an adorable picture of them as a couple.
I ALSO have family members that send me pictures sometimes because they KNOW I love to scrapbook! And it surprised them sometimes when I include something about them. ｡◕‿◕｡

Oh this gives me an idea! The monthly journaling challenge is to include journaling on the back of the layout from present day perspective… this might just be the perfect way for me to scrapbook these photos! Especially the friend’s wedding. I’ve never really included a lot of “emotional” journaling in my albums, so keeping it hidden might be a great way to start! 

The circumstances with my sisters is different, it was VERY last minute I backed out, so our relationship was very fragile for a while, but we have reconciled, so I am more inclined to do a layout specifically about why I wasn’t there… and maybe for the hidden part explain how we reconciled after the fact. 

[DrSonja]

Just in case you are interested in different perspectives, here are my thoughts.



On friendships, personally, and this is ME and it may not be a popular opinion, but I would not be interested in a "meet the baby" date for someone I had been friends with for a long time. Why? Because my friend is the woman, not the child. I might even really be missing the woman who used to spend time with me and focus on my adult life and our shared growing-up experiences. I don't need a baby for a friend and I don't care to spend time with babies. When I was a young adult in child-bearing days I was so busy with work, home, my own kids, that any chance I had to drag an hour for myself, the LAST thing I wanted was to be around a baby! I wanted some pure, chill, adult time! And especially, if you had an infant and your friends did NOT have kids----a "meet the baby" would likely be the last thing they would be interested in. A new mom may get support from other new moms, but even that is iffy given how stressful being a new mom can be. It's not that you don't want to be helpful, you just might not have the energy, time, and space to give anything meaningful. And, a good 18-20% of new moms have post-partum depression and/or anxiety that is very debilitating.

You are, of course, entitled to your opinion, but the meet the baby date isn't actually about meeting the baby. It's about the new mom seeing her friends. Change is hard, and being a new mom is lonely and while it's exciting to be experiencing new things, most new moms also miss their grown-up life from before and their friendships. Friends take different paths and have more and less things in common over the years, but it isn't a reason to stop being friends. 


  

I'm uncertain of your interpretation of my comment. I do understand that an invitation to "meet the baby" may be a new mother's attempt to connect with friends and her desire is totally understandable. On the other hand, baby-less friends also have totally understandable reasons to not be interested in such an event.
Here is what I was trying to say:
1. Just because a long time friend didn't attend a "meet the baby" invitation, it doesn't mean she doesn't want to be your friend anymore. So, don't cut it off because she didn't show the level of baby enthusiasm you had hoped for.
2.  If several of your friends didn't attend the "meet the baby" invitation, then probably your life situation, eg. having children, is different than the current childless life situation of your friends. So, don't cut off the friendships--they may someday join the ranks of having children.
3.  If you are a lonely new mom, it can be hard to find support. That isn't a reason to blame long-time friends, that's a chance to find new support networks.

I am totally advocating for continuing to be friends as lives take different paths and there may be fewer things in common. I am just suggesting ways to take the other person's perspective and reduce the perceived slight of non-attendance at a "meet the baby" event. 
 

[QueenBee89]

Just in case you are interested in different perspectives, here are my thoughts.



On friendships, personally, and this is ME and it may not be a popular opinion, but I would not be interested in a "meet the baby" date for someone I had been friends with for a long time. Why? Because my friend is the woman, not the child. I might even really be missing the woman who used to spend time with me and focus on my adult life and our shared growing-up experiences. I don't need a baby for a friend and I don't care to spend time with babies. When I was a young adult in child-bearing days I was so busy with work, home, my own kids, that any chance I had to drag an hour for myself, the LAST thing I wanted was to be around a baby! I wanted some pure, chill, adult time! And especially, if you had an infant and your friends did NOT have kids----a "meet the baby" would likely be the last thing they would be interested in. A new mom may get support from other new moms, but even that is iffy given how stressful being a new mom can be. It's not that you don't want to be helpful, you just might not have the energy, time, and space to give anything meaningful. And, a good 18-20% of new moms have post-partum depression and/or anxiety that is very debilitating.

You are, of course, entitled to your opinion, but the meet the baby date isn't actually about meeting the baby. It's about the new mom seeing her friends. Change is hard, and being a new mom is lonely and while it's exciting to be experiencing new things, most new moms also miss their grown-up life from before and their friendships. Friends take different paths and have more and less things in common over the years, but it isn't a reason to stop being friends. 
  

I'm uncertain of your interpretation of my comment. I do understand that an invitation to "meet the baby" may be a new mother's attempt to connect with friends and her desire is totally understandable. On the other hand, baby-less friends also have totally understandable reasons to not be interested in such an event.
Here is what I was trying to say:
1. Just because a long time friend didn't attend a "meet the baby" invitation, it doesn't mean she doesn't want to be your friend anymore. So, don't cut it off because she didn't show the level of baby enthusiasm you had hoped for.
2.  If several of your friends didn't attend the "meet the baby" invitation, then probably your life situation, eg. having children, is different than the current childless life situation of your friends. So, don't cut off the friendships--they may someday join the ranks of having children.
3.  If you are a lonely new mom, it can be hard to find support. That isn't a reason to blame long-time friends, that's a chance to find new support networks.

I am totally advocating for continuing to be friends as lives take different paths and there may be fewer things in common. I am just suggesting ways to take the other person's perspective and reduce the perceived slight of non-attendance at a "meet the baby" event. 
  

I think my comment about why the friendship drifted has taken this a direction drastically different than I had intended. This was in no means a petty “you don’t want to meet my baby, we’re not friends anymore” situation. More of the backstory, I had moved away a couple hours from family and friends a month prior to my son’s arrival. When he was a few months old, I gave an open invitation to come visit us (we lived near the beach) to several friends (as well as several of my husbands) and we each only had 1 friend come see us. While I understand that travel and weekends away aren’t for everyone, it was a difficult time for us adjusting to parenthood and his new job & we were missing the connections with those close to us. 

Ultimately, all I did was make a conscience decision to not contact a few people “first” for a month to see if they would reach out to me, this came after initiating all contact for 6 months or so. They didn’t. Nearly 3 years later, none of us have spoken. I suppose it’s just a phase of life, moving onward from hometowns and entering new chapters and meeting new people. 

[DrSonja]

Thanks for the back story, Brandi.
Whatever the circumstances, it sounds like you have found a way to move on, which is healthy for you.
Scrap your joy, leave the rest!

[Art_Teacher]

the beauty of scrapbooking is you dont have to scrap anything you dont wish to!  if you are no longer friends...i stay just store the photos and you may change your mind someday but there is no obligation

the covid wedding of your sister---i would personally do a fun layout about why you were not able to be there etc....make it a good memory!

Carrie said exactly what I would say.   Do what makes you happy!

[Art_Teacher]

 

 After I had my son, I invited several friends out to meet him to which they all had no interest. We stopped speaking shortly after that. It was too hard trying to maintain a friendship with someone who didn’t seem to value our relationship, especially as a new mom!  

Just in case you are interested in different perspectives, here are my thoughts.

I believe in the joy of the moment. Each moment that brings us joy or pleasure is not to be compared to other moments. So, when you were the maid of honor or went to an event of some sort--the joy of THAT moment belongs to you forever, even if you never see that person again. If you like to scrap great moments- scrap it----because what you are scrapping is that fun, happy, loving moment. 

If you are feeling disappointed NOW, that you haven't had MORE fun, happy moments with this person, well, that is a different subject and potentially a different scrap page LOL. 

On friendships, personally, and this is ME and it may not be a popular opinion, but I would not be interested in a "meet the baby" date for someone I had been friends with for a long time. Why? Because my friend is the woman, not the child. I might even really be missing the woman who used to spend time with me and focus on my adult life and our shared growing-up experiences. I don't need a baby for a friend and I don't care to spend time with babies. When I was a young adult in child-bearing days I was so busy with work, home, my own kids, that any chance I had to drag an hour for myself, the LAST thing I wanted was to be around a baby! I wanted some pure, chill, adult time! And especially, if you had an infant and your friends did NOT have kids----a "meet the baby" would likely be the last thing they would be interested in. A new mom may get support from other new moms, but even that is iffy given how stressful being a new mom can be. It's not that you don't want to be helpful, you just might not have the energy, time, and space to give anything meaningful. And, a good 18-20% of new moms have post-partum depression and/or anxiety that is very debilitating.

So, all that being said, if you have a bunches of pics and love to scrap: why not scrap an extra page and mail it to your friend with a note saying "I miss you, I miss us, I don't know why we grew apart, but here is a gift of one of our great moments. If you are interested in catching up, give me a call."  It can't hurt, and who knows, maybe it will be the start of a new chapter? 

This is a great take on another perspective!  As a woman who was never able to have kids, I find I have very few women friends, because when all my friends had kids they stopped inviting me or accepting my invitations to do anything.  I was invited to baby shower after baby shower, but never to any other fun events that didn't directly involve the child.  I tried to attend things if I could, but after a while, it felt like they didn't really care to spend time with me.  My best friend from college/my 3-year college roommate and I drifted apart for this very reason.  I have just met her in a few places now that her youngest is graduated from high school, but I don't know if we will ever be the same.  She probably feels I abandoned her, and I feel like she abandoned me, so now we are just friendly, but not really friends.  Do you know what I mean?  We also had some very good neighbors who treated us like family members. We were invited to all their kids' birthday parties, but also to family get-togethers with their parents and siblings.  Then, they moved, less than a half a mile away, but by this time all 3 boys were in middle school and the sports stuff got ramped up x 3.  We go to games now and then, but we never get invited to their family gatherings, anymore and I have just come to accept it.  It was more a friendship of convenience than a lifelong besties sort of thing,  I still scrap any photos I take of them and their kids when we do see them, though.  

Adult friendships are sort of weird, you know?  My family members are more of my lifelong friends than anyone else, and that's okay.
 

[QueenBee89]

 After I had my son, I invited several friends out to meet him to which they all had no interest. We stopped speaking shortly after that. It was too hard trying to maintain a friendship with someone who didn’t seem to value our relationship, especially as a new mom!  

Just in case you are interested in different perspectives, here are my thoughts.

I believe in the joy of the moment. Each moment that brings us joy or pleasure is not to be compared to other moments. So, when you were the maid of honor or went to an event of some sort--the joy of THAT moment belongs to you forever, even if you never see that person again. If you like to scrap great moments- scrap it----because what you are scrapping is that fun, happy, loving moment. 

If you are feeling disappointed NOW, that you haven't had MORE fun, happy moments with this person, well, that is a different subject and potentially a different scrap page LOL. 

On friendships, personally, and this is ME and it may not be a popular opinion, but I would not be interested in a "meet the baby" date for someone I had been friends with for a long time. Why? Because my friend is the woman, not the child. I might even really be missing the woman who used to spend time with me and focus on my adult life and our shared growing-up experiences. I don't need a baby for a friend and I don't care to spend time with babies. When I was a young adult in child-bearing days I was so busy with work, home, my own kids, that any chance I had to drag an hour for myself, the LAST thing I wanted was to be around a baby! I wanted some pure, chill, adult time! And especially, if you had an infant and your friends did NOT have kids----a "meet the baby" would likely be the last thing they would be interested in. A new mom may get support from other new moms, but even that is iffy given how stressful being a new mom can be. It's not that you don't want to be helpful, you just might not have the energy, time, and space to give anything meaningful. And, a good 18-20% of new moms have post-partum depression and/or anxiety that is very debilitating.

So, all that being said, if you have a bunches of pics and love to scrap: why not scrap an extra page and mail it to your friend with a note saying "I miss you, I miss us, I don't know why we grew apart, but here is a gift of one of our great moments. If you are interested in catching up, give me a call."  It can't hurt, and who knows, maybe it will be the start of a new chapter?  

This is a great take on another perspective!  As a woman who was never able to have kids, I find I have very few women friends, because when all my friends had kids they stopped inviting me or accepting my invitations to do anything.  I was invited to baby shower after baby shower, but never to any other fun events that didn't directly involve the child.  I tried to attend things if I could, but after a while, it felt like they didn't really care to spend time with me.  My best friend from college/my 3-year college roommate and I drifted apart for this very reason.  I have just met her in a few places now that her youngest is graduated from high school, but I don't know if we will ever be the same.  She probably feels I abandoned her, and I feel like she abandoned me, so now we are just friendly, but not really friends.  Do you know what I mean?  We also had some very good neighbors who treated us like family members. We were invited to all their kids' birthday parties, but also to family get-togethers with their parents and siblings.  Then, they moved, less than a half a mile away, but by this time all 3 boys were in middle school and the sports stuff got ramped up x 3.  We go to games now and then, but we never get invited to their family gatherings, anymore and I have just come to accept it.  It was more a friendship of convenience than a lifelong besties sort of thing,  I still scrap any photos I take of them and their kids when we do see them, though.  

Adult friendships are sort of weird, you know?  My family members are more of my lifelong friends than anyone else, and that's okay.
  

This reminds me of a couple my parents are friends with who never had children. They were always mentioned and my Dad saw his childhood friend occasionally when I was growing up, but I know it was not the same as before my parents had 3 kids in 3.5 years. Since we’ve all grown up and are having families of our own, they have been in touch more again. It was kind of wild having a beer with my Dad’s High School best friend a few years ago! Haha! 

And I completely agree. Friendships at this point in my life are so complicated. Everyone moves at a different pace through their 20s and 30s too! My husband still has a core group of friends from high school, even though only one other guy has children & two are still single men. It has been interesting to see how he’s more drawn to spend time with his fellow Dad of 2! 

I have a cousin who I grew up spending holidays with and not much more. Our babies are the exact same ages and we speak via text daily now! Family is definitely a blessing!

[Flasher]

 

This is a great take on another perspective!  As a woman who was never able to have kids, I find I have very few women friends, because when all my friends had kids they stopped inviting me or accepting my invitations to do anything.  I was invited to baby shower after baby shower, but never to any other fun events that didn't directly involve the child.  I tried to attend things if I could, but after a while, it felt like they didn't really care to spend time with me.  My best friend from college/my 3-year college roommate and I drifted apart for this very reason.  I have just met her in a few places now that her youngest is graduated from high school, but I don't know if we will ever be the same.  She probably feels I abandoned her, and I feel like she abandoned me, so now we are just friendly, but not really friends.  Do you know what I mean?  We also had some very good neighbors who treated us like family members. We were invited to all their kids' birthday parties, but also to family get-togethers with their parents and siblings.  Then, they moved, less than a half a mile away, but by this time all 3 boys were in middle school and the sports stuff got ramped up x 3.  We go to games now and then, but we never get invited to their family gatherings, anymore and I have just come to accept it.  It was more a friendship of convenience than a lifelong besties sort of thing,  I still scrap any photos I take of them and their kids when we do see them, though.  

Adult friendships are sort of weird, you know?  My family members are more of my lifelong friends than anyone else, and that's okay.
  

If we were just a little closer in physical location, I'd have been inviting you to EVERYTHING -- kid function or family function or adult function!  I embrace the friends that I have regardless of how different our lives may be.  Their happiness is my happiness, their bad times are my bad times.  If I love you, I'm there for all of it!
 

[condo]

 

I have also often had the “what’s going to come of these albums someday” thoughts, and I am your daughters age! I have come to terms with the fact that my boys may not want these, but it’s my hobby and I enjoy it so I continue with doing it. My husband is always saying we can use the albums to remind us of memories as we age, which is precisely why we scrapbook! So lucky to have his blessing in this space intensive hobby, haha! 

As far as your albums, what if you asked your children for specific memories from each trip and started there? Maybe you could compile a memory book for each of them based off of what they each remember from the given event? 

When my grandfather passed 11 years ago, no one else was interested in the boxes of photos he had (my grandmother had passed 5 years prior), so I took them bc I hated the thought of them being thrown away. So now I have hundreds of photos from the 1950s to the early 2000s of my grandparents, my mom and her siblings, and my cousins. I have memories of the later years and I am pondering (aka overthinking) how to record these stories. 

I think at the end of the day, there really is no right way to do any of this. But I have a feeling most scrapbookers have some degree of perfectionism in them so we always just worry we are doing it wrong!    

I have struggled with this so much.  I finally came to a place of peace and accepted that I do this for ME as a way to relieve stress, relive precious memories and document our stories. If my boys throw them in the trash (which they have promised they won't) then that is their choice. I did my part in documenting their lives and experiences.  

Ok, I missed completing my concern. Not so much if they tossed them, more if I make one book for each trip.........or whatever, if not a specific book for/about one child, I don't want to leave one more thing that might cause them to have issues on who gets what. I am sure that I could designate who gets what, but that doesn't alway work either. First born daughter, wanting to make sure that everything is just right. ............... and oh boy, doesn't that feed right into making sure that we get it right, do it right and don't do something wrong in our creations or story telling. 

thanks everyone for letting me jump in and for your comments. 

condo
 

[QueenBee89]

I have also often had the “what’s going to come of these albums someday” thoughts, and I am your daughters age! I have come to terms with the fact that my boys may not want these, but it’s my hobby and I enjoy it so I continue with doing it. My husband is always saying we can use the albums to remind us of memories as we age, which is precisely why we scrapbook! So lucky to have his blessing in this space intensive hobby, haha! 

As far as your albums, what if you asked your children for specific memories from each trip and started there? Maybe you could compile a memory book for each of them based off of what they each remember from the given event? 

When my grandfather passed 11 years ago, no one else was interested in the boxes of photos he had (my grandmother had passed 5 years prior), so I took them bc I hated the thought of them being thrown away. So now I have hundreds of photos from the 1950s to the early 2000s of my grandparents, my mom and her siblings, and my cousins. I have memories of the later years and I am pondering (aka overthinking) how to record these stories. 

I think at the end of the day, there really is no right way to do any of this. But I have a feeling most scrapbookers have some degree of perfectionism in them so we always just worry we are doing it wrong!    

I have struggled with this so much.  I finally came to a place of peace and accepted that I do this for ME as a way to relieve stress, relive precious memories and document our stories. If my boys throw them in the trash (which they have promised they won't) then that is their choice. I did my part in documenting their lives and experiences.   

Ok, I missed completing my concern. Not so much if they tossed them, more if I make one book for each trip.........or whatever, if not a specific book for/about one child, I don't want to leave one more thing that might cause them to have issues on who gets what. I am sure that I could designate who gets what, but that doesn't alway work either. First born daughter, wanting to make sure that everything is just right. ............... and oh boy, doesn't that feed right into making sure that we get it right, do it right and don't do something wrong in our creations or story telling. 

thanks everyone for letting me jump in and for your comments. 

condo
  

Fellow first born here! I definitely agree with that being a part of the overthinking thing!!

[SandyJay]

It was very painful for me to hear about pregnancies, baby showers and growing milestones when I was dealing with my infertility. I am sorry for your loss of friendships, it sounds like you tried.