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Kimandasmo

Cherry Jubilee

ethical question...not sure what to do???-UPDATED
**update** thank you all for your encouragement...I did decide to go with my daughter and I am glad I did. Though I did not personally know this little girl it was an emotional ceremony followed by the releasing of sky lanterns.


In our area last week there were some little girls playing in their front yard when a lady went out of control (for reason yet unknown) and hit them. The girls were triplets and one of them died, one is in serious condition and the other is okay "relatively speaking". Here is the problem... my oldest daughter used to babysit the triplets in the infant and then the daycare room at church every Sunday..so she wants to go the service for the one this afternoon, I am okay with that. The issue is that I am/ was very good friends with lady that hit the kids. we have not spoken in about 2 years but we went to kindy through graduating together. Do I go with my dd to the funeral, ( I did not know the girls) or do I let her go with just other family and friends???? I feel like it would be awkward for me to go. If it was my child who had was killed I do not know that I would want friends of the person who killed them there.....
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shayla_rose

Cherry Cola

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
if you haven't spoken in 2 years I don't see why she wouldn't want you there... I think it would be nice to go but I wouldn't want to upset the mother anymore than she is.. I would say trust your gut/heart. that is the only way you can make the besst choice. Does the mom know you are friends with the lady? Have you talked to the lady since she hit those girls? I am thinking she may be having a hard time with it all too. What a sad story and tough situation.. ((hug))
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Janell

Cherry Cola

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
I would go to the funeral and support your daughter!
-If it's scrappy it makes me happy!
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shayla_rose

Cherry Cola

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
In my first sentence, I meant to say if you haven't spoken to your friend in 2 years... how would the mom have a problem.
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Kitkat137

Sweet Cherry Pie

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
I would attend. You can still pay your respects and give condolences. It is not your fault, even by association, that your old friend was involved in the auto-pedestrian accident.
Kat >^..^<

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sherry

Cherry Bing

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
I agree-- show support for the grieving family, you had nothing to do with the accident, and it sounds so tragic.
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megamay

Cherry Cola

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
Kitkat137 wrote:I would attend. You can still pay your respects and give condolences. It is not your fault, even by association, that your old friend was involved in the auto-pedestrian accident.

I agree. also, I think it is important for you to be there for your DD.
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ElizabethC

Cherry Tart

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
I too think it is important for you to be there and show support and love.
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pawprints

A Cherry on Top

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
megamay wrote:
Kitkat137 wrote:I would attend. You can still pay your respects and give condolences. It is not your fault, even by association, that your old friend was involved in the auto-pedestrian accident.

I agree. also, I think it is important for you to be there for your DD.

I agree with this too.

What a horribly sad, tragic thing to happen. I feel so bad for that poor family.
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Ayla

Cherry Addict

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
I would attend...your support to your daughter may help her thru a rough time too. And you are not responsible for what your (former?) friend did....and even if you were still speaking with her, that doesn't mean you can't be sad for what happened to the triplets.
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meteechtap

Cherry Cola

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
how terrible! Yes, go to the funeral with your daughter. She will need your support, and I believe the Mother of the triplets will not pass judgement by association. I sent a prayer for all involved.
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ScrapSis

Cherry Blossom

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
I think the most important person here is your DD - if she needs your support at the service, then you should go. You are not that involved, currently, with the lady who hit the girls, you were not in the car and you had nothing to do with her decision to be driving that day so there is no reason for you to feel guilty about going. Make sure your DD is doing alright and if you don't want to speak with the mom, stay to the background, but do support your daughter, I suspect she will need you.
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mommahobbit

Sweet Cherry Pie

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
go with DD , she will need her mom!
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Northern Brat

Chocolate Covered Cherry

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
I would go. First of all, support for your daughter. Secondly, the mother of the girls has way too much on her mind right now, and this is probably isn't even an issue for her. Your daughter needs you.


I hope that the woman who hit the girls makes peace with the family as well. Not sure the funeral is the place for it, but I think that is needed to for healing purposes. (both ends)
Leslie
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scrapaholic

Chocolate Covered Cherry

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
definitely attend with your daughter, she is more important and needs your support vs. worrying about a friend you really haven't been close to in several years.
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averys_mom

Cherry Cola

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
I would definitely go with your daughter.
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glo85cam

Cherry Jubilee

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
janello wrote:I would go to the funeral and support your daughter!


Ditto.
glo



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Queen Mum

Cherry Addict

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
Even if I were friends with the person who was involved in the accident I would go. If nothing else, to support my own daughter.
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killarney_rose

Chocolate Covered Cherry

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
Forgiveness in this situation is a very hard thing for both families involved in this accident. Hard for the family who is suffering so, and hard for your friend to forgive herself, if she even can. I know, I lost a friend at 13 and I still can not completely forgive a whole group of people who work in a profession for the actions of one in the same type of accident. It's wrong and I know it

The most important thing right now is your daughter. She needs you and you need to be with her. What others think who attend the service doesn't matter. The family I'm sure will be ok with you being there because they need support now, too.
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baltoscrapper

Bowl Full of Cherries

Re: ethical question...not sure what to do???
Not even sure what to say that hasn't been covered but I'm sending prayers to the girls families and you too (and your daughter).
I used to be a "celebrity cherry", but now I'm in re-hab...... Holy Carp!
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