Information

[babykaykz1108]

My DD is annoying the living you know what out of me about wanting to be in a pageant. I have specific things I will and won't go for in this whole thing. 1. No makeup! (I told her she wears it for her dance recital each year and for Halloween only. She's not okay with that, but as long as she gets to wear the beautiful dress, that makes up for it.)
2. No spray tan. (She has beautiful flawless fair skin, why mess with perfection?)

3. No false teeth or flippers. (This is just ridiculous to me. Little girls lose their teeth and it's normal.)

4. No artificial nails. (I don't even have artificial nails, why would I pay for her to have them?)

5. No swimsuit competition. (What does a young girl need to strut around in a bathing suit for a room full of people?)

The hair pieces don't bother me, but I don't see her wanting to do that anyway.



So her father is okay with it, which cracks me up. I thought he'd be worse than me about the rules or just flat out say no, but he's surprisingly in agreement. (Never thought that would happen!)



I did find a natural pageant that follows all of the rules I have above and the swimsuit competition is optional, which is awesome.



I think I'm going to let her do this as part of her birthday present this year. She just wants to be a princess and get a trophy. She kills me!



Would you let your daughter or granddaughter do this if she wanted to? Or has anyone had experience with pageants or advise that would be helpful? And has anyone dealt with this desire and flat out said "no"?

[JulianaM]

I have no experience in any of this, but I tend to agree with your thoughts on what you are OK with and not OK with. some of that stuff is just craziness for little girls. They are girls, not women.

[babykaykz1108]

I have no experience in any of this, but I tend to agree with your thoughts on what you are OK with and not OK with. some of that stuff is just craziness for little girls. They are girls, not women.

Exactly. I kind of have the same thoughts on natural pageants that I do about her dance recitals or a talent show. This particular one calls their talent section, fitness and expects a demonstration of a physical talent or hobby.

[PezKat]

Your rules sound good. How old is she?-

[babykaykz1108]

Your rules sound good. How old is she?-

She's 5. She'll be 6 by the time of the pageant. I think she just wants to be a Disney Princess!

[Jenn Kellams]

I think being in pageants can be a good thing or a bad thing. It depends on which angle you go in to it with. I did them as a child as well as my sister and we are perfectly normal well adjusted women in society. It didn't warp us. Well maybe it did but thats a different topic for a different night....lol

I personally think make-up is okay, but naturally. Not caked on, showgirl type make up. The tanning, flippers, hair, blah blah blah just disgusts me. In my opinion it takes aways from the original "beauty pageant purpose". I think swimsuit is gross too.

Check your local area for a Cinderella scholarship pageant. They are GREAT!! Very wholesome yet awesome. Younger girls actually wear their Sunday dresses. Usually no formal gowns until the teen years. This is the sitefor your area.... There has to be an understanding before you go in on what to expect from it. What she is hoping to gain, what she feels like she will accomplish, etc;

Good luck on the decision. They are great for confidence building but if taken too seriously and for the wrong reasons can produce narcissistic, self indulged brats!

[babykaykz1108]

Thanks so much! I'm gonna check that site out. I think she just wants to be pretty and make new friends.

[letumom]

When we were younger, a local mall store (think Macy's type) would hold "charm school" classes. We learned how to walk the runway, body posture, sitting properly, etc. The classes were on Saturday, and went for about 6 weeks. It was a great way to meet other girls. I think the "older" girls got to learn proper makeup techniques.

Maybe your local mall has something like this as an alternative.

[shayla_rose]

I honestly can't say because I have two boys but my oldest is 5 (6 next month) and I wouldn't let him do something like that, but every child is different. My son is competetive and something like that would turn ugly, of course he is a boy lol
However I think the rules you have are great and sound like they would be fun for her.. every girl likes to dress up sometimes.. the only thing is how did she find out about them? does she really know what it is? I would just make sure she knows what to expect and doesn't gain an attitude or hurt feelings from it. none of us know your dd the way you do and I am sure you know what she is ready for or not (especially if dad agrees!) so I say HAVE fun and good luck!! these will make great scrapbooking pages lol!

[LaWanna]

I would if she really wanted to, but only given the stipulations you've already outlined. I agree about the bathing suits, the make-up, the teeth and the rest. BTW, I didn't even know that some did the false teeth (that's just creepy.) They are little girls after all.

[mkcdaisy]

I did one when I was 12 but it was not what you see on tv in the very interesting show on TLC. It was more like the regular Miss America however there was no swimsuit. We did the dresses and interview and then speech and talent was optional. We did the whole little opening number and practice all all that. Girls did they hair and they wore makeup but to my knowledge there was no false teeth, false hair, eyelashes and all that.

I think with the rules you have set it would be ok. I think the natural pageants are becoming for popular and thats great. Why put fake teeth on a 6 year old - they are SUPPOSE to be missing teeth. Part of the cuteness at the age.

Good luck!

[megamay]

I think that your rules are a great compromise, especially since you found a natural pageant. I would be a little inclined to argue with the no makeup, but only because the lights tend to wash you out - same reason they wear makeup for dance recitals.

I was in a pageant in high school. It was interesting. We did talent, interview, and physical fitness. no swimsuit. I liked it because we did a little dance number for the opening and the physical fitness part. mostly I was in it for the scholarship money though. I don't know 5 or 6 yr old, hmmm. My DD is 4 and I can't see wanting her to do it but I guess if she had her heart set on it, and with the rules, it would be ok with me.

[babykaykz1108]

This is the second time this has come up. The first time I did some searching online and it was absolutely outrageous price wise. I think she saw something on TV and her father was completely against it, but she was only 3 at the time.


We've been watching a show called Little Miss Perfect. It's a glitz pageant, but there have been some contestants on the show that are pretty natural with the exception of a little make up. She's even commented that the teeth, hair and tanning are ridiculous.



She's a born performer. She's been dancing since she was 2 and is extremely outgoing. But, she is also very much a follower when it comes to friends. I think it could be a positive experience and hopefully give her the confidence to stand on her own two feet without being influenced by what others do and say.



I do fear the "diva" attitude, but I think I can keep that in check.

[Kimandasmo]

I allowed my dd to do 2 pageants...with very very limited things like you.... I did do a teeny tiny bit of make-up, but nobody even really knew she had it on. She also wanted to be the princess and do the tiara. After the 2nd one she had had enough..all her decision. I think sometimes you need to let them try things and learn what they are all about on their own.

[anazelia]

I hate the whole pageant thing, I really do. I hope neither of my girls ever want anything to do with it, but if they did, I would allow them too. I would have rules, maybe not as many as yours, or even the same ones as you. I just think that making something seem a huge deal and saying no, makes kids want things even more and puts a wedge between kids and parents. So unless something is totally inappropriate (drinking, drugs, sex etc,) I will support them in what they want, regardless of how much I dislike it. JMO.

[meteechtap]

I would if I had a daughter. I wanted to as a little girl, but I danced instead. They told me I had to choose because dance was expensive too. I don't mind the make-up if its kept to a minimal( mascara, lipstick, blush) no base or eyeliner. I totally agree with no bathing suit, no need. I do have one little girl in my dance class that I teach, and they are sooooo into pagents. She is already too much to handle, very disruptive and hard core competitor. Her mother has gone beyond the norm. We are sooooo not looking forward to her getting to the tweens or teens!

[JeanG]

Good luck with deciding what to do!! Thank Heavens I don't have daughters; I'm not geared for dress-up and costumes and all. I think it can be a really good experience, but it can also be devastating to the girls. Maybe seeing what her expectations are would help - is she going in this to win....or to meet other girls and have fun? If some of the girls are mean to her, is she prepared to let the words roll off her and ignore the meanies? I hope that, if she goes for it, she has a great time.