Again, you guys are so encouraging and helpful. You know, I have been "stepping" for 15 years now and I have to admit it is the worse thing I have gone thru! I was always attacked and put down and like a counselor friend of mine said...if I hung myself on a cross and gave my life for them...someone would still say I did not give enough. But you guys are different. Thank you for giving me many aspects of this situation but understanding that I am at witts end. It is just comforting that I can hear it from a third party.
Well, I'm not a parent, but I see plenty of children who are being enabled and I believe they will never grow up and be responsible if their parents keep it up. Being a stepchild should have nothing to do with it...ask yourself, would you really keep enabling your own child to live this way at the age of 28? Sounds like you've known enough was enough for awhile, but just need some folks on your side, and as you can see we are! Hugs!
Laura
I am agreeing with everyone else's thoughts on this one....enough is enough! Sorry you have to go through all this. {{HUGS}}
Jane
LOYAL COLTS FAN
LOYAL COLTS FAN
I hope things get better for you. Life is hard enough, you don't need this.
Bibi
I am so sorry!
My mom went to Tough Love - a support group that I am not even sure exists any more. It was very hard for to deal with my sister, but she learned she had to let my sister live her own life for awhile. It was total torture to watch. It was painful for all of us because we still loved my sister. She lost custody of her son, almost went to prison, moved from worthless boyfriend to another - - living in pure poverty. outhouse and all. One day she just snapped. She moved out of her boyfriend's, found a good job and started back to school.
My mom went to Tough Love - a support group that I am not even sure exists any more. It was very hard for to deal with my sister, but she learned she had to let my sister live her own life for awhile. It was total torture to watch. It was painful for all of us because we still loved my sister. She lost custody of her son, almost went to prison, moved from worthless boyfriend to another - - living in pure poverty. outhouse and all. One day she just snapped. She moved out of her boyfriend's, found a good job and started back to school.
I guess we all know someone in similar situations. I don't have any answers for you, but I do have a request. Take a deep breath and try to relax. The stress is not good. Do something nice for yourself really really soon. You sound like you deserve it!
Lynda
Any chance of you reading our replies to him, hopefully opening up some talk between you two? I encourage you to honestly tell dh how you feel about this. You cannot prevent him from continuing but you should be free to disagree yourself.
Debbie
I wanted to come back to this post to get "recharged"....I have indeed told dh all about this post and the replies I have been getting.
SD has now cut us off since we are not handing her $$ like she thinks she is entitled to. You know...the bad thing is...I have tried so hard this last year to get on a more "grown up" relationship with her. I even took her out for a cup of coffee and a danish at Starbucks... we laughed, cried, and I held her hands and told her I was so sorry for not being a better step parent, that I was very young myself (only 22) but that I did the best I could and I had hoped we could start a new start together....
I was hoping her reply would have been something like...I am sorry too that I made things so hard on you and dad.... yada yada yada....but again she sat there like she was "entitled".
I told dh that I am washing my hands of her this time. I just can't take the drama that comes from her and his family. But together we are stopping the hand out train....
*sigh* Thank you so much for your inputs! You have noooo idea how much I needed to hear each and every response!
SD has now cut us off since we are not handing her $$ like she thinks she is entitled to. You know...the bad thing is...I have tried so hard this last year to get on a more "grown up" relationship with her. I even took her out for a cup of coffee and a danish at Starbucks... we laughed, cried, and I held her hands and told her I was so sorry for not being a better step parent, that I was very young myself (only 22) but that I did the best I could and I had hoped we could start a new start together....
I was hoping her reply would have been something like...I am sorry too that I made things so hard on you and dad.... yada yada yada....but again she sat there like she was "entitled".
I told dh that I am washing my hands of her this time. I just can't take the drama that comes from her and his family. But together we are stopping the hand out train....
*sigh* Thank you so much for your inputs! You have noooo idea how much I needed to hear each and every response!
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I can not imagine my mother putting up with me doing something like that at that age! I hope you are able to get through this without going insane! LOL!
my blog...17turtles
HAPPILY designing for:
Bo Bunny
Circut Circle
http://jillibeansoup.typepad.com/my_weblog/
HAPPILY designing for:
Bo Bunny
Circut Circle
http://jillibeansoup.typepad.com/my_weblog/
Information
Moderators