What do you do if asked to change a Christmas Tradition?

justred2u · Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:23 am

When my dd was 6 months old Santa gave her a nice new warm pair of jammies as a gift to open on Christmas Eve after the Midnight Service, and so began the "Ramm Family Tradition". She is the 1st grandchild on my husband's side and we started a tradition within his family. Well 2 boys and 31 years later ... this is a delimma between my dh and I. Our 3 kids are all happily married. We now have 3 kids, 3 in-laws and 11 grandkids to carry on that tradition. My husband says we quit and it is the "parents" responsibility to keep this tradition going or if they so choose to make a new one. i have now spent $250 for pj's for just the 6 adults and haven't even started on the grandkids ... so do I take back the pj's I bought and spend more on the kids or do I go ahead and give the adults their pj's and maybe just a book for each grandchild (ooops I failed to mention the gc range in age from 3 to 19). This hurts to stop my tradition I started but I understand something needs to change here but I truly need some advice here. I am up for any kinds of suggestions here.

Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:31 am

Personally, I would just buy PJ's for the kids. Things like that are more fun for kids anyways. I really like your tradition... so I am going to make it for my family now.

Going to go shopping for PJ's tomorrow!

mysunshine · Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:32 am

My suggestion is that you ask your kids. Maybe some of them don't care or want them anymore but others love the tradition and can't wait to get them Christmas Eve. Some adults don't even sleep in PJ's most of the time, so this is possibly a waste of money for them. On the other hand, kids most definitely do use PJ's, so I think I'd focus the tradition on the grandkids. Especially the little ones. If you do some good shopping, I think you can find PJs that they will adore and want to wear all the time. Hope that helps a little!

scraptag · Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:36 am

Do they all come over to your house for Christmas eve after the service? I would think that this would be a tradition that you would have
"passed down" to your kids to do for their kids. Maybe you could start a new tradition of lighting a candle for every member of the family, or buying socks for everyone, or making each family a homemade gift, or even adopting a family for Christmas in honor of your kids.

Tue Dec 02, 2008 3:07 am

What Angie said sounds very reasonable to me. See how your kids feel about the tradition for both themselves and for their own kids too. Good luck with however it turns out.

luboost · Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:20 am

I also would talk to your kids...but I'm thinking in a different direction! I love jammies...and so does my mom.

And for me, I will never totally grow up inside. So little things that my family used to do when I was a kid still mean a lot to me. I would get the warm fuzzies if I was the jammie receiver. But I think maybe the parents (your kids) should be the jammie buyer for their kids. It would be more sentimental that way. But the whole point of that is I think it's good to discuss with each child to know their feelings!

koala1966 · Tue Dec 02, 2008 8:49 am

I would think it would be perfectly acceptable to continue buying PJ's for your kids/in-laws and for your kids to be responsible to buy the PJ's for their kids. Sounds like a fun tradition (and I love PJs).

bumblebby · Tue Dec 02, 2008 8:53 am

We do the pj's on Christmas Eve too! After dinner they have a bath, put on their new pj's and then they get to open a gift.

I think I'll stop doing it when they move out.

carrie123 · Tue Dec 02, 2008 9:25 am

Maybe just buy pj's for the grandkids. We do ornaments for everyone, to match their personality or hobby, something to reflect them.

Northern Brat · Tue Dec 02, 2008 9:26 am

I am doing that tradition now too! My kids are 8 &10, so I don't have the "inlaw/grandchild " issue to deal with, but my thought would be that when they start having families, they would be buying the pj's for their kids, and I would stop the jammie thing for them.

Now...do you buy for all of them? If so, can that be their gift from you?

scraphappy24_7 · Tue Dec 02, 2008 9:29 am

Concentrate on the grandbabies...let those big "kids" know what you are doing (so they aren't surprised on Christmas eve) and explain the change in tradition...

BTW, LOVE that tradition!

Heidi1154 · Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:17 am

That is our tradition also. Only for the grandchildren do we do pj's. That is there gift they get to open Christmas Eve. We did it for our children until they had their own.
This year I made all 6 of them pj's.

Queen Mum · Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:19 am

Just Pj's for the kids. After they turn a certain age, they're on their own.

montana_girl · Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:27 am

We have the same tradition in our family. We were only allowed to open one gift on Christmas eve and it was always jammies. Why? Because my mom wanted us to look nice in the pictures on Christmas morning!

Once I had my son, I started buying his jammies, but stopped when he turned 18. But I will definitely be buying jammies for my grandson's first Christmas.

Soooo.... my suggestion would be to talk with your kids about sharing the costs of the grandkids jammies and just buy for the grandkids under 18. Just my opinion!

NJTheresa · Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:39 am

I would just buy for the kids. It was started for the kids so it should be a tradition for them. Do you have any pics of your kids in their PJ's? Maybe a pic of them when they were kids in theirs would be something niceif you feel you need to give them something.

baltoscrapper · Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:41 am

The adults might be too old for it now, but I think it's awesome for the grandkids!

nhlmom · Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:59 am

Some other's have said continue to buy for your kids/in-laws and let THEM buy for their kids (thus continuing the tradition). I know it can get expensive, but traditions are very important. I know I always looked forward to the things like this we used to get in our stockings and the adults are less likely to purchase those things for themselves.

hlg1rose · Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:01 am

bumblebby wrote: We do the pj's on Christmas Eve too! After dinner they have a bath, put on their new pj's and then they get to open a gift.

I think I'll stop doing it when they move out.

ahhhh, you "think" you'll stop doing it then, but let me tell you, it will not be easy.

I am not sure what I would do in the jammie situation. I agree with talking to the kids, and also, just buying it for them. You don't say if your children are male or female, but maybe just buying for your female offspring and in-laws, then let the kids buy for the grandkids.

#1 moved out this past year, and i am worried already about some traditions we have. I know at this time in her life she will be sleeping here on xmas eve so I guess things don't have to change that much.

dianagirly · Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:04 am

Personally, I rather break an arm then have my MIL buy me pajamas! I just think that's weird! LOL

For the grandkids, are you planning on buying pajamas AND a toy? Because that is a lot of dough to shell out. If you are, maybe consider doing a "family gift" such as a new board game they can play together.

Grandma Flowers · Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:27 am

We have the same tradition! I continued to buy for my daughters and their husbands for a couple years after they got married, and then they decided on their own to do it themselves. This is the first Christmas for my newlywed daughter. They will be spending it with her in-laws and she's already freaking out about no new pajamas. I've mailed them to the mother-in-law with an explanation.

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