Information

[milmomma]

well my situation was a bit different, we lived together first and then my dad died while i was pregnant a month before our wedding and we moved the day after we got married... so it was a bit crazy. We butted heads alot and still do. We are two complete opposites but I love him and wouldnt change it for the world. When we have issues we try to have a big sit down discussion. I do hope things get better for you hun.

[davsar]

My first month of marriage was scary, frustrating, exciting. I guess the hardest part to me was getting use to having to share my space and my things with another person. This is still one of the biggest issues in our marriage - I am not a snuggly type of person and my husband is. Another hard part was his family living so close. I felt like he went from their home to mine and I really didn't want to be his mom!

But it was also exciting. Just to know that I had the man I loved with me, watching out for me.

Sorry you are having a rough time - big hugs!!

[-Shannon-]

My first month of marriage was scary, frustrating, exciting.

[dinasaad]

sorry that you are feeling like that shanon.. for me, the first month sucked, and celebrating our 4th anniversary last week : it sucks even more now.
If i could go back in time, I would have given myself time to have my first baby ( i was pregnant 3 months after the wedding) but i was only 21 and so excited about having a baby to play with (stupid me) that i didn even think about family planning or so. Now i can honestly say that am stuck in the marriage just for the sake of my kids.

[beachlover]

oh, honey I am so sorry you are going through a rough patch. I have never been married, but did have a couple of long term live-in relationships. That was enough for me! One thing I know for sure, men are dumb, dumb, dumb. They are not as thoughtful and considerate as we are. If you find a sensitive man, he's gay! He may not know it, but he is! I don't fully know what all is going on for you, but if you are getting upset because you think he doesn't care as much as you do because of his lack of actions, caring words, etc, then that is probably wrong. He does care, men don't show emotions the same way we do. That makse you hurt worse, I know. You need to toughen up a bit and realize that's just how he is. And, definitely don't compare one reationship to another. They are two different cases. Can you sit down and tell him how you feel, and tell him you want to understand him better? If he seems to be under some kind of stress, surprise him one night when he comes home. Get a couple bottles of wine and a nice dinner (or just a plate of cheese, crackers, fruit) and put it in the living room on the coffee table, lots of candles for ambiance, and just sit on the floor and have a relaxing evening. And talk! Ask him if everything is okay. Ask him what you can do to make it better. Those words exactly. That will get to him. You may think how can I know this when I have never been married, but I was in a wonderful relationship that ended two years ago. Even now, I still know he is/was my soul mate. He talked all the time about when we get married.... We started house shopping, we redecorated his house. He told me it was my home and to decorate how I wanted, the home was my turf. Everything I wanted, I got. So what went wrong? I never knew. He just came home one night and told me it was over. I still am not over it, and I am crying as I write this. But, in truth, I believe he ended things because he did not truly want to get married. He was 40 at the time, never married himself and was surrounded by bad relationships, all in his past and all the members of his own family. Everyone had started making comments to us 'when are you guys gonna get married?' He started saying never. Two monts later, we were done. I hate not knowing, but I think that is the real reason, we was just scared. Men are babies, little boys in big boys' bodies. He is scared about something, hopefully he will tell you what it is.

I hope you are not worried about any of us teling your business. We u and only want the best for you. I will pray that things get better for you. {{hugs}}}

[SG_Becky]

My husband (who was a sensitive and compassionate, yet tough, guy, and certainly not gay ) and I lived together for three years before we got married, so it honestly didn't feel much different. We were very similar personalities and didn't butt heads much, so I can't really say more of that occured in the first month. We might have even gotten along better, since we were all giddy about being able to say "my husband" and "my wife", lol. I do remember the first year we lived together being tough, though. A lot of feeling "stuck", panicking about what we had gotten ourselves into, and adjusting to living together.

[moodyonceamth]

Our first year was tough....I had Emily, who was 4, and he really had forgotten what a young child is like. (His son was 12 at the time.) We fought A LOT. I actually moved out at around 11 months. We ended up getting back together after about 2 months.

[Mommybruno]

It was pretty much business as usual. We'd already been living together, and being married wasn't a huge change of pace. The big change and the stress came a few months later when we moved. That was not pretty!

[motoxmom]

i wanted to send him home to his momma and he was 30 years old!!!! i already had kids to take care of!! but that was 13 years ago and i am glad i kept him around he really is worth the all the ups and downs.

[JeanG]

The first time, as I was waiting to walk down the aisle, I told my Dad I didn't want to get married after all. He thought it was wedding jitters and on we went. We were far to young and each self-absorbed with the wrong reasons for wanting to marry. It was extremely hard from day 1. 10 years, 2 wonderful boys and much insanity later, we divorced. The second time, it was hard because his kid was raised to think he was next to God and my kids were fairly normal and it was again rocky right away. He tried to control my life - who my friends were, when I could see my family, etc. I left on our 8th anniversary. With my dh, it has worked well from day 1. We're very different - I'm off like a shot and he weighs all that's going on before he talks. I talk and talk and talk - he only talks a lot when he's had a few. We're both stubborn and mule-headed. We balance each other beautifully and I can't think of a single bad thing to say about him ever. He's really wonderful. We lived together about 6 months before we got married - but that was because he lived and worked 3 hours away, so until he retired, we only had weekends together. I think the first month can often be hard because, as others have said, your space is invaded. This time the only problem is I was used to sleeping alone, kiddy-korner in the bed. Took a while to remember he needed room to sleep, too! lol