I'm so afraid to be saying all of this on here because I'm worried it will come back and bite me in the butt later...KWIM?
Chocolate Covered Cherry
The problem is not being up front and honest about things and one of us is being a lot more supportive of the other...all the time.
I'm so afraid to be saying all of this on here because I'm worried it will come back and bite me in the butt later...KWIM?
I'm so afraid to be saying all of this on here because I'm worried it will come back and bite me in the butt later...KWIM?
- Shannon
I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.
-Lucille Ball
I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.
-Lucille Ball
Cherry Cropper
Big hugs Shanny!!!!
Cherry Bing
Dh and I were together for 7 yrs before we got married and lived together a lot of those so I don't think it was really any different. We had gotten a lot of fighting done before and things are pretty regualr and I think they were soon after we got married.
Hugs to you - let me know if I can help at all. I am so sorry you are going through this.
Hugs to you - let me know if I can help at all. I am so sorry you are going through this.
Stephanie
Nothing is foolproof for a sufficiently talented fool
Nothing is foolproof for a sufficiently talented fool
Chocolate Covered Cherry
We did live together for almost 2 years before getting married last month. We even talked about big issues, like children, finances, etc which aren't really the issues here). We also went through a lot of hard times and had dealt with a lot of things. Unfortunately, some of them have popped back up (unexpectedly IMO) and almost all at once. I just need to know that others have gone through this and made it. This si my second marriage and so far COMPLETELY different than the first one.
- Shannon
I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.
-Lucille Ball
I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.
-Lucille Ball
Chatty Cherry
well my husband followed me around like a little puppy dog and drove me crazy lol, he was so cute the 1st couple months of marriage...he'd keep saying "i love you so much Mrs. Field!" lol he's funny cute that way
Wendy.....love my puppies!!!!!
I made the President's list..wahooo!!!!
I made the President's list..wahooo!!!!
Bowl Full of Cherries
Hugs Shann!!! Hang in there hun!
Cherry Crush
I think we argued a bit, because we didn't live together and there were those little day-to-day annoyances that we had to learn to work out a compromise with, but we dated for 5 years, so I think we argued anyway. We just didn't argue about things that really mattered until we got married! LOL!
Laura
Cherry Berry
We had been living together for awhile, so the first month of marriage was mostly "Sheesh! Look at how much the caterer cost at our wedding! Holy cow! How much do they want to preserve the dress?!?" But for the most part, nothing had changed.
Now the first month after we moved in together was different. I had to learn to stop being so dang sensitive, and he had to learn to shut his trap. It was tough, but we made it through fine. Now the first year after we had a kid, that was BAD. LOL!
Now the first month after we moved in together was different. I had to learn to stop being so dang sensitive, and he had to learn to shut his trap. It was tough, but we made it through fine. Now the first year after we had a kid, that was BAD. LOL!
******
The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.
The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.
Chocolate Covered Cherry
This worries me too...though we aren't trying for babies yet I'm feeling even more hesitant about even considering it. Cleary it isn't something we can or should do right now but it makes me worry about "if ever". Blah..........Heatherj81 wrote: Now the first year after we had a kid, that was BAD. LOL!
- Shannon
I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.
-Lucille Ball
I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.
-Lucille Ball
Cherry Garcia
We have been married almost 18 years so I can't remember specifically back to 1 month after. Sorry. I do have to say that we have had definite ups and downs, but I'm happy we have both stuck with it. Hope everything improves for you two. ((((HUGS)))))
Heidi
Cherry Jubilee
we were both in the military at the time, so we really didn't have time to think about it...plus a month after we got married I was alreay 6 months pregnant...so baby came along with my marriage...and BELIEVE me we have had our UPS and DOWNS {we have been seperated twice, once for about 18 months and a second time for about 7 months} and inbetween it all we have managed to have 4 beautiful children and still struggle daily on all kinds of issues~so hang in there Shannon~{{{HUGS}}}
~Angie~
Cherry Cola
I'll try this again - my first message was lost - I understand when you say you almost hate to say anything because it might come back to bite you - those first months can be very hard - you feel very sensitive about every thing he says and does and whether he ignores you and you over analyze everything.
I've been married 37 years and sometimes I wonder why I'm still with him and other times I love him to bits! But those first few months of marriage were very hard - it was almost as if the thrill of the chase was gone so he didn't lavish me with the attention that I thought I deserved. Face it - we all have this fantasy of what we want our marriage to be like - and are disappointed when it doesn't measure up. Go out on a nice date and see if you can voice some of your concerns in a calm voice and hopefully, you can have a nice discussion about what is bothering you.
Take care!
I've been married 37 years and sometimes I wonder why I'm still with him and other times I love him to bits! But those first few months of marriage were very hard - it was almost as if the thrill of the chase was gone so he didn't lavish me with the attention that I thought I deserved. Face it - we all have this fantasy of what we want our marriage to be like - and are disappointed when it doesn't measure up. Go out on a nice date and see if you can voice some of your concerns in a calm voice and hopefully, you can have a nice discussion about what is bothering you.
Take care!
Jan - trying to find my way
Wild Cherry
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. 
Just kidding.
It was OK, then it sucked. Then OK, then not so much.. etc, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc .................................... No, wait, maybe it sucked first, I don't remember. Hope you're OK though- & it will always take effort- always. Ups & downs are normal- some of us just have more than others.
Just kidding. It was OK, then it sucked. Then OK, then not so much.. etc, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc .................................... No, wait, maybe it sucked first, I don't remember. Hope you're OK though- & it will always take effort- always. Ups & downs are normal- some of us just have more than others.
~Tessa
I'm not saying forget what you lost
I suppose there's a purpose in pain
What we make of ourselves has a cost
And it's paid every time we take hold of the reins
I'm not saying forget what you lost
I suppose there's a purpose in pain
What we make of ourselves has a cost
And it's paid every time we take hold of the reins
Cherry Cropper
You're talking about fights and such? They're normal.
I hated all of it. And to top it off, I was still a college student. Needless to say, my grades suffered. But we lived though it. Thankfully, and I mean thankfully......I remember very little of those early days. Memory loss is a blessing. He remembers things and tells me, and I have select things I remember, but it was so awful that I think I blocked it out.
I don't think our situation was common, or even normal. That's how bad it was. We're still married, though, and it's been 34 years this June.
I hated all of it. And to top it off, I was still a college student. Needless to say, my grades suffered. But we lived though it. Thankfully, and I mean thankfully......I remember very little of those early days. Memory loss is a blessing. He remembers things and tells me, and I have select things I remember, but it was so awful that I think I blocked it out.
I don't think our situation was common, or even normal. That's how bad it was. We're still married, though, and it's been 34 years this June.
Kathy
For His honor
For His honor
Cherry Addict
It was defintely a change that is for sure and I do think after the whole anticipation of the wedding being over there can be sometimes where you wonder ...errr umm what have I done...but I would just give yourself sometime. You had a TON going on with the wedding and maybe you all just need some down time together. What about a quickie weekend getaway??
SUS 
Sweet Cherry Pie
Another brutal honest one here. The morning after I woke up and thought crap what did I just do. We have also had our ups and downs, some that would break the deal for others. But we work through them. After 10 yrs I still wonder but I know that no relationship is perfect.
I also understand the onesided supportiveness.
Hang in there Shannon it really does get better.
I also understand the onesided supportiveness.
Hang in there Shannon it really does get better.
Michelle
Born to Crop not to Mop!
Born to Crop not to Mop!
Sweet Cherry Pie
BTW is there a chance that inquiring minds are still reading the boards?
Michelle
Born to Crop not to Mop!
Born to Crop not to Mop!
A Cherry on Top
Sending hugs. Dh and I lived together for a few years before getting married. We fought a lot ofter moving in together, but that was for a few months and havent really fought since. I didn't feel any different after being married.
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