ACOT Message Board

I am working on an album from 2006-
May 2006 my ex husband left.
I met my current husband August 2006, I know not that soon after.
My daughter met him Sept of 2006.
I am not sure if I should include something in May that her dad left. It actually had a really big impacted on her, he left without saying good bye and has had little contact with her since. She is still really bitter at him.
When Mark came into the picture he instantly became dad, DD had just turned 6 at the time.
But if I don't include something that ex left  the album does not tell the whole story. (I know she knows the story but it feels incomplete with out saying he left.) One day this other man just appears in the album,
What would you do?

Let people who don't know figure out ex left and not tell the story.
Or Somehow include that ex left - and if so how?- don't have any pictures.

Any opinions would be appreciated. Thanks

(PS just noticed that my avatar picture is the first time that DD met Mark. She knew he was special that first day.)

Could you make may a pocket type page? 

Meaning that the photos aren't really visible when you first look at the page...that you actually have to open an envelope or something like that to see the pictures.  That way you aren't ignoring it but it's there if and when you choose to look at them? 

Is the album intended to be your daughters?  Does she want him included?  

I am sure this isn't uncommon and I bet some of the wonderful cherries have some great ideas as well!

 

Good question,  how to tackle yucky real life situations...  I would journal as much or as little as you want her to know about her dad and tuck it in a pocket somewhere in the album. 

The last pictures that were taking of Arielle with her Dad they were flying a kite in the park. This was actually a rare moment as he didn't play much, one of the reasons we divorced. (There were plenty of other reasons.) I guess I could include a pocket somewhere here and state these were the last pictures before he left. Then write a few things about it.

Niki wrote:The last pictures that were taking of Arielle with her Dad they were flying a kite in the park. This was actually a rare moment as he didn't play much, one of the reasons we divorced. (There were plenty of other reasons.) I guess I could include a pocket somewhere here and state these were the last pictures before he left. Then write a few things about it.
 

Perhaps you could make a kite on a 12x12 sheet of scrap paper....and have each of the diamonds of the kite lift up..it would hide the journaling so it's included but not visible to the casual looker.

I think I would do a simple "New Beginnings" with some hidden journalling and not make a big deal out of the transition.  Although the idea of the kite hiding the journalling really sounds interesting.

I would do a page, maybe with pics of you and dd, then hidden journaling telling what happened.  Maybe in a letter form to your dd or just free-flow journaling about your thoughts and feelings.  I like the idea of a "new beginnings" or "transition" theme to that layout.

My opinion... I myself would add something in. Even if it is just journaling. It is part of the story. You don't have to go into great detail if you don't want to, just acknowledge that it happened. I did an album for my mom all about my grandmother, and my grandmother went through some pretty rough things in her life. I didn't leave them out, because they are part of her story, but I also didn't give a blow by blow description either. I worded those things in a gentle way. My mom loved the album and loved how I told my grandmother's story. Leaving those things out would not have told her story at all.

For my layout of my parents divorce, I took a pix of the two of them and tore it jaggedly down the middle and scrapped it.  I also put a small pix of mother smiling in the bottom right corner with an arrow pointing forward.  However all us kids were grown when they split and I didn't scrap it for many years later.

Everything that happens in our lives, or those of our family members, help to form our opinions, memories and make each of us who we are today. There's so many sad, stressful or bad things that we go through. In this situation, I would use some sort of hidden journaling to tell the story. Writing things down on paper helps to bring emotional closure for yourself and explanation to others in the future who need answers. And looking back at your narrative later will remind you of the better choice that you made for yourself!

Maybe I am missing something, but, I would make two albums for 2006.  One with "dad", until he left, and the other with Mark, the new beginning.

I would not include it, but don't do my albums the same as you.  I just scrap whatever fancies me, and then I put those pages into the appropriate year/theme ring album when they're finished.  I don't scrap every aspect of my life year by year, just those photos I have that I wish to tackle.  Good luck!

So here it the LO I came up with. These are the last pictures taken of Arielle with her Dad
The checked paper under the Let's Go Fly a Kite is a hidden journal tag
It states that these are the last pictures taken and then what I wanted her to know about him leaving. (Well what she does know.)

Thanks everyone for the thoughts and ideas



 

keatonsgtgram wrote:Everything that happens in our lives, or those of our family members, help to form our opinions, memories and make each of us who we are today. There's so many sad, stressful or bad things that we go through. In this situation, I would use some sort of hidden journaling to tell the story. Writing things down on paper helps to bring emotional closure for yourself and explanation to others in the future who need answers. And looking back at your narrative later will remind you of the better choice that you made for yourself!

 I agree. I don't scrap my ex much...mostly because I scrap current pics and he's been out of the picture for a long time. But I also did a layout recording the divorce. It has little information, but it does recognize his contribution towards our children being born and he is after all, part of THEIR history. But I really like the idea of the hidden journaling..one advantage paper scrappers have over digi scrappers!

Niki wrote:So here it the LO I came up with. These are the last pictures taken of Arielle with her Dad
The checked paper under the Let's Go Fly a Kite is a hidden journal tag
It states that these are the last pictures taken and then what I wanted her to know about him leaving. (Well what she does know.)

Thanks everyone for the thoughts and ideas




 

Love how it turned out! 

Love how your LO turned out!

It is a great layout! 

I love your layout!  I love the idea of hidden journaling.

I am glad you included the journaling.  As Nancy said it is part of your daughter's story, your story, and the whole family's story.  I understand your daughter's feelings as I watched so many friends growing up dealing with divorce and my mother's story on divorce of her parents.  She was blessed though as both parents were actively involved in raising her despite the divorce without the upheaval that divorce usually creates.
 

I love how your page turned out!