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[Jolly Holly Scraps]

 After I had my son, I invited several friends out to meet him to which they all had no interest. We stopped speaking shortly after that. It was too hard trying to maintain a friendship with someone who didn’t seem to value our relationship, especially as a new mom!  

Just in case you are interested in different perspectives, here are my thoughts.

I believe in the joy of the moment. Each moment that brings us joy or pleasure is not to be compared to other moments. So, when you were the maid of honor or went to an event of some sort--the joy of THAT moment belongs to you forever, even if you never see that person again. If you like to scrap great moments- scrap it----because what you are scrapping is that fun, happy, loving moment. 

If you are feeling disappointed NOW, that you haven't had MORE fun, happy moments with this person, well, that is a different subject and potentially a different scrap page LOL. 

On friendships, personally, and this is ME and it may not be a popular opinion, but I would not be interested in a "meet the baby" date for someone I had been friends with for a long time. Why? Because my friend is the woman, not the child. I might even really be missing the woman who used to spend time with me and focus on my adult life and our shared growing-up experiences. I don't need a baby for a friend and I don't care to spend time with babies. When I was a young adult in child-bearing days I was so busy with work, home, my own kids, that any chance I had to drag an hour for myself, the LAST thing I wanted was to be around a baby! I wanted some pure, chill, adult time! And especially, if you had an infant and your friends did NOT have kids----a "meet the baby" would likely be the last thing they would be interested in. A new mom may get support from other new moms, but even that is iffy given how stressful being a new mom can be. It's not that you don't want to be helpful, you just might not have the energy, time, and space to give anything meaningful. And, a good 18-20% of new moms have post-partum depression and/or anxiety that is very debilitating.

So, all that being said, if you have a bunches of pics and love to scrap: why not scrap an extra page and mail it to your friend with a note saying "I miss you, I miss us, I don't know why we grew apart, but here is a gift of one of our great moments. If you are interested in catching up, give me a call."  It can't hurt, and who knows, maybe it will be the start of a new chapter? 

This is a great take on another perspective!  As a woman who was never able to have kids, I find I have very few women friends, because when all my friends had kids they stopped inviting me or accepting my invitations to do anything.  I was invited to baby shower after baby shower, but never to any other fun events that didn't directly involve the child.  I tried to attend things if I could, but after a while, it felt like they didn't really care to spend time with me.  My best friend from college/my 3-year college roommate and I drifted apart for this very reason.  I have just met her in a few places now that her youngest is graduated from high school, but I don't know if we will ever be the same.  She probably feels I abandoned her, and I feel like she abandoned me, so now we are just friendly, but not really friends.  Do you know what I mean?  We also had some very good neighbors who treated us like family members. We were invited to all their kids' birthday parties, but also to family get-togethers with their parents and siblings.  Then, they moved, less than a half a mile away, but by this time all 3 boys were in middle school and the sports stuff got ramped up x 3.  We go to games now and then, but we never get invited to their family gatherings, anymore and I have just come to accept it.  It was more a friendship of convenience than a lifelong besties sort of thing,  I still scrap any photos I take of them and their kids when we do see them, though.  

Adult friendships are sort of weird, you know?  My family members are more of my lifelong friends than anyone else, and that's okay.
 

This REALLY resonated with me- adult friendships are kinda wierd lol they are! My family members are ALSO my closest friends in a big way these days, and that's cool, too!

[Jolly Holly Scraps]

Here’s another perspective. I look at life as a book. This book has many chapters. I chose not to scrapbook a wedding vow renewal because they ended in divorce, but she is remarried and extremely happy. I am contemplating putting some photos together from that event of some fun times, she and I or just my husband and I.

An another note, I scrapbooked a friend of mine I had for a long time, but lost touch. It was a chapter in my life. We both drifted apart. Again, like others, no reason. just part of my journey through life. It is a personal decision.

Now, my ex-fiancé who cheated on me??? Tore those all up!!!

So maybe, if you choose to scrap a lost friend, you could preface it with this?

SOME FRIENDS COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON,
SOME FRIENDS COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A SEASON, (and I added)
AND SOME FRIENDS ARE THE RAREST OF ALL THAT COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOREVER.

And I agree with beachlover….REACH OUT!!

I ALSO feel like life is a book in a sense, and some chapters have more chaos and heartache than others, while some are full of so much joy!
It took me a long time to learn how to scrap the bad along with the good.
I like that qoute, too! There's some friends that I KNOW for sure I'll have in my life forever - and they are much like family to me. Then there's friendships that I've had where we just drifted apart. Of course, the ones there's ALSO the ones that have no chance of reconciliation but were important at a point in my life.
Lol I scrap everything these days!

[Jolly Holly Scraps]

Ok, so let me jump on your question if you don't mind............

I was never much of a scrapbooker. I started off doing a few pages here and there. At that time my middle child had just finished her middle school class trip to Toronto. I did an album for her. I started doing some other pages and then life happened and things got really busy and I didn't get together with my scrappin' group and my scrapping stopped. I would love to do more of our family trips in scrapbooks. 

Here is my dilemma. That was years ago, that middle schooler is now in her 30s. As a historian and art history major, it is all about the details in my journaling.  Too long ago to remember all of those things and in the right order. I have 3 kids, so, if I make one album for each trip.......what happens down the road, who gets what, if anyone wants any of it. The last few decades, phones have pretty much taken over the need of many cameras. To top that off, I can't remember the last time we printed off any photos. So much that is captured doesn't get shared as much any more...............

How to even begin "catching up"?????

thanks for the question, and the opportunity to figure out what and how to move forward, while looking back. 

condo

ps. I'm a perfectionist so also a procrastinator 

I'll NEVER be "caught up" lol but when I'm feeling stuck and want to scrapbook something in particular, I often start with journaling (just random journaling in a notebook) and go from there. Eventually the message in a LO I'm trying to convey comes to me.

[Art_Teacher]

 

This is a great take on another perspective!  As a woman who was never able to have kids, I find I have very few women friends, because when all my friends had kids they stopped inviting me or accepting my invitations to do anything.  I was invited to baby shower after baby shower, but never to any other fun events that didn't directly involve the child.  I tried to attend things if I could, but after a while, it felt like they didn't really care to spend time with me.  My best friend from college/my 3-year college roommate and I drifted apart for this very reason.  I have just met her in a few places now that her youngest is graduated from high school, but I don't know if we will ever be the same.  She probably feels I abandoned her, and I feel like she abandoned me, so now we are just friendly, but not really friends.  Do you know what I mean?  We also had some very good neighbors who treated us like family members. We were invited to all their kids' birthday parties, but also to family get-togethers with their parents and siblings.  Then, they moved, less than a half a mile away, but by this time all 3 boys were in middle school and the sports stuff got ramped up x 3.  We go to games now and then, but we never get invited to their family gatherings, anymore and I have just come to accept it.  It was more a friendship of convenience than a lifelong besties sort of thing,  I still scrap any photos I take of them and their kids when we do see them, though.  

Adult friendships are sort of weird, you know?  My family members are more of my lifelong friends than anyone else, and that's okay. 

If we were just a little closer in physical location, I'd have been inviting you to EVERYTHING -- kid function or family function or adult function!  I embrace the friends that I have regardless of how different our lives may be.  Their happiness is my happiness, their bad times are my bad times.  If I love you, I'm there for all of it!
  

You don't know how many times I've wished we lived closer.  I know we would be real-life besties.  

[Art_Teacher]

Ok, so let me jump on your question if you don't mind............

I was never much of a scrapbooker. I started off doing a few pages here and there. At that time my middle child had just finished her middle school class trip to Toronto. I did an album for her. I started doing some other pages and then life happened and things got really busy and I didn't get together with my scrappin' group and my scrapping stopped. I would love to do more of our family trips in scrapbooks. 

Here is my dilemma. That was years ago, that middle schooler is now in her 30s. As a historian and art history major, it is all about the details in my journaling.  Too long ago to remember all of those things and in the right order. I have 3 kids, so, if I make one album for each trip.......what happens down the road, who gets what, if anyone wants any of it. The last few decades, phones have pretty much taken over the need of many cameras. To top that off, I can't remember the last time we printed off any photos. So much that is captured doesn't get shared as much any more...............

How to even begin "catching up"?????

thanks for the question, and the opportunity to figure out what and how to move forward, while looking back. 

condo

ps. I'm a perfectionist so also a procrastinator 

I have that same dilemma, but mine is complicated with the fact that my husband and I never had children.  I have so many albums that will probably just be trashed when I'm gone, and it makes me terribly sad. But, I continue to make them for the love of the art and because it makes me happy to look at them.  If nobody wants them when I'm dead, it won't matter to me then, right?  

As for catching up, I will never ever catch up. I am currently scrapping to finish my 2009 and 2010 albums. I have done many pages that are more recent, but haven't printed them out, yet (they are digital).  I have accepted that I can never catch up, but I am still creating so many layouts of so many memories.  I even finished a book of my trip to Italy in 1989!  Granted, my memories were somewhat fuzzy, but the photos were there and I did some internet research on some of the places to bring it back to me.  LOL  I still love looking at the album, regardless of whether I can remember all the details!

[condo]

Ok, so let me jump on your question if you don't mind............

I was never much of a scrapbooker. I started off doing a few pages here and there. At that time my middle child had just finished her middle school class trip to Toronto. I did an album for her. I started doing some other pages and then life happened and things got really busy and I didn't get together with my scrappin' group and my scrapping stopped. I would love to do more of our family trips in scrapbooks. 

Here is my dilemma. That was years ago, that middle schooler is now in her 30s. As a historian and art history major, it is all about the details in my journaling.  Too long ago to remember all of those things and in the right order. I have 3 kids, so, if I make one album for each trip.......what happens down the road, who gets what, if anyone wants any of it. The last few decades, phones have pretty much taken over the need of many cameras. To top that off, I can't remember the last time we printed off any photos. So much that is captured doesn't get shared as much any more...............

How to even begin "catching up"?????

thanks for the question, and the opportunity to figure out what and how to move forward, while looking back. 

condo

ps. I'm a perfectionist so also a procrastinator 

I have that same dilemma, but mine is complicated with the fact that my husband and I never had children.  I have so many albums that will probably just be trashed when I'm gone, and it makes me terribly sad. But, I continue to make them for the love of the art and because it makes me happy to look at them.  If nobody wants them when I'm dead, it won't matter to me then, right?  

As for catching up, I will never ever catch up. I am currently scrapping to finish my 2009 and 2010 albums. I have done many pages that are more recent, but haven't printed them out, yet (they are digital).  I have accepted that I can never catch up, but I am still creating so many layouts of so many memories.  I even finished a book of my trip to Italy in 1989!  Granted, my memories were somewhat fuzzy, but the photos were there and I did some internet research on some of the places to bring it back to me.  LOL  I still love looking at the album, regardless of whether I can remember all the details! 

thanks for sharing your insight. nice to see that there are others that have so many events to catch up on. I am just going to jump in and wade through the memories and do the ones that pop out to do. I liked the idea another scrapper shared about some day being a memory jogger. don't we all need that all the time anyway??? ;j

[condo]

Ok, so let me jump on your question if you don't mind............

I was never much of a scrapbooker. I started off doing a few pages here and there. At that time my middle child had just finished her middle school class trip to Toronto. I did an album for her. I started doing some other pages and then life happened and things got really busy and I didn't get together with my scrappin' group and my scrapping stopped. I would love to do more of our family trips in scrapbooks. 

Here is my dilemma. That was years ago, that middle schooler is now in her 30s. As a historian and art history major, it is all about the details in my journaling.  Too long ago to remember all of those things and in the right order. I have 3 kids, so, if I make one album for each trip.......what happens down the road, who gets what, if anyone wants any of it. The last few decades, phones have pretty much taken over the need of many cameras. To top that off, I can't remember the last time we printed off any photos. So much that is captured doesn't get shared as much any more...............

How to even begin "catching up"?????

thanks for the question, and the opportunity to figure out what and how to move forward, while looking back. 

condo

ps. I'm a perfectionist so also a procrastinator 

I'll NEVER be "caught up" lol but when I'm feeling stuck and want to scrapbook something in particular, I often start with journaling (just random journaling in a notebook) and go from there. Eventually the message in a LO I'm trying to convey comes to me. 

thank you!!! 

everyone has been so helpful. again thanks for letting me highjack this thread a bit.