Cheer me up! *WINNERS*

[Art_Teacher]

Thanks, ladies! Alot of these do make me feel better. Winners are 3 Pals, because that is the funniest art-related joke I've seen in a long time, and MaBuglet, because she tried so darn hard!



I have to go back to school in a week and I'm not ready! Waaaahhhh! My room has no a/c and no windows and it has been in the 90's here and humid all summer. Blech! So, for this thread, I need you to cheer me up about it.


Post a joke, a funny story, or anything you think will make me feel better about going back to school on Aug. 16th. I will pick a winner from the one that cheered me up the most and give them 25 points!

[letumom]

Any way you can connect a hose in your room, and offer passes to run through the "sprinkler?"

[meteechtap]

At least its not you going thru school again!!

[scrappinchic]

tell your students it is your behavior management strategy. Every rule infraction raises the temperature one degree.

[MOM2SNOX]

Bah! Who needs A/C? We should order a cabana boy for you! Comes with HUGE fan, cool drinks and a spritzer bottle! :P

[Scrappy69]

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
'Wake up, son. It's time to go to school'
'But why, Mom? I don't want to go.'
'Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.'
'Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!'
'Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.'
'Give me two reasons why I should go to school.'
'Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Head teacher!'

[scrappie_stacie]

[scrappie_stacie]

[dshepard]

For some reason, this crack me up!

[kittymomma]

OKay--this one is funny!!!!!

[3 Pals]

An elementary school class started a class project to make planters to take home to their parents. They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so they decided to use cactus plants. The students were given green-ware pottery planters in the shape of clowns which they painted with glaze. The clown planters were professionally fired at a class outing so they could see the process. It was great fun! They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew nicely, but unfortunately, the children were not allowed to take them home.

[scraptag]

Well, I'm not very funny, I can never remember interesting or funny stories, so I just wanted to say....Good Luck! It's gonna really suck in that class room with out air!

[Art_Teacher]

OMG! I just snorted my diet Coke through my nose! You all are going to have to work hard to top this!

An elementary school class started a class project to make planters to take home to their parents. They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so they decided to use cactus plants. The students were given green-ware pottery planters in the shape of clowns which they painted with glaze. The clown planters were professionally fired at a class outing so they could see the process. It was great fun! They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew nicely, but unfortunately, the children were not allowed to take them home.

[Ashjoy]

Black And Brown Crayon

Little Johnny had been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten every day since he started a month ago. Each day his mother admired the pictures and hung them on the refrigerator. One thing started bothering her. Little Johnny only used black and browns for his drawings. Fearing a problem and not wanting it to get worse, she decided to take him to a child psychologist.

The psychologist delicately went to work. He gave Little Johnny a battery of psychological tests. He chatted with Little Johnny. Everything seemed perfectly normal. Every day for two weeks, the tests continued. Yet everyday, Little Johnny continued to bring home drawings in only blacks and browns.

Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem and fearful that something was terribly wrong, the child psychologist decided to give Little Johnny some paper and a box of crayons and observe what happened.

Little Johnny opened the box of crayons and said, "Oh, Boy! A new box of crayons! At school we only have old boxes. The only ones left in mine are black and brown!"

[Art_Teacher]

btt

[Art_Teacher]

btt

[writerlady]

[table][tr][td]Only three doors[/td][/tr][tr][td]An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"[/td][/tr][/table]

[Art_Teacher]

sending this btt because I need some laughs today and I still haven't awarded my points for this!

[scrappie_stacie]

The Black Bra

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night my boyfriend came over and found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"

[MaBuglet]

Could always be worse