Child Support woes....again!!

Ayla · Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:29 am

I'm sure you all remember (or many of you anyway) the mixup over receiving child support a month ago. My ex had listed 2 different employers, which in essence were the same one. He works for Community mental Health, but at a work site called Community Ties South. I had gotten a notice from Friend of the Court terminating the withholding order - but when I called, I was told they were merely terminating the duplicate order, and the order was still in force. Well...fast forward a month later, and i haven't gotten any money in the last month. And of course, the ex won't answer my calls or return my messages, so I have no idea if they are taking the money out or where the problem is.

So, I called Friend of the Court back again. Apparently he no longer works for Community Mental Health, they have outsourced his work site and he actually is paid by Community Ties South. The wrong withholding order was terminated, so there is no active withholding order for his actual employer. Do you think he would know he owes money and pay it anyway? of course not! When I talked to my worker today, she said "You're getting your money now, right?" I said no, I haven't gotten anything in over a month. She said she would reissue the order again, and to give it a couple of weeks. She also said they would withhold more money to cover this new added arrears. Dang, but I'm glad I have a decent enough income that I don't HAVE to rely on that money!! That's $700 a month I'm NOT getting right now!! And the a**hole still hasn't even called or talked to the kids, much less picked them up, since Christmas Eve. And he thinks he will stop them from going on my family's annual Run the River camping/kayak trip weekend? He's got another think coming! They won't go with him!

CherryTat · Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:45 am

Uuuuggghhhhh! What a royal pain in the butt for you Nancy. Why someone who hasn't seen/talked to his children in months would think that they will just run off with him when he shows up, is beyond me. Thank heavens they have a wonderful mother!!!! And even though you make a good salary, having 4 kids at home is mighty expensive! I don't know how you do it.

blbabe1234 · Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:58 am

Geez! What an @$$hole!

I'd gladly give him a swift kick in the rear for you. I salute you, Nancy, for staying strong and constantly calling the court to see what's going on.

sherry · Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:26 am

I've voiced this before- what makes men that have fathered children think they can totally abandon them, physically, emotionally & financially, and the mom will just deal with it? Complete denial of responsibility. And, of course, no surprise the courts screwed things up, no one ever takes an extra second to double-check something before doing it. This is so frustrating. Hasn't seen them since Christmas? Why does he even care at all? That's 4 months ago almost. But whether he wants a relationship with them or not, he still should help support them without all this hassle.

Retiree3 · Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:31 am

Nancy, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I can't imagine not seeing my children for that long. Is he ever missing the boat! How can someone treat their children like that? It's his loss.!!!!!

meteechtap · Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:03 am

Good Grief!!!! I am Flustrated for you and the kids and I am just reading it!!!!!! I have a dear friend who essentually going thru something similar, she cannot get XH to pay half of thier daughters Medical Bills (he says they are not sick!!) even though he is court ordered to do so. She has had to go back two yrs and make copies of all her paid parts and call doctors for past bills to present to him and thier Layers. He makes a mighty hefty five figure pay salary as he is a City Firefighter!!!!
I will never understand the concept of NOT wanting to be part of your children's lives EVER!! The Kids will resent him and they will all Miss out on the Bond that could be!!!

THANK GOD they have YOU and all thier other Brothers and Sisters!!!! Hang in there, You will prevail in the end!!

amberella · Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:35 am

What a butthead. That's ridiculous. I hope you get your money soon! Good for your kids standing up for themselves and what they want

SusanZennario · Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:51 am

Good Grief! You can't catch a break with this! I can't wait to see what the fireworks are when he tries to mess up your family reunion. And I can't understand how he can sleep at night when he obviously KNOWS the money is not coming out of his paycheck and therefore is not going to his kids!

Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:56 am

I feel your pain. My ex claimed my kids on his taxes even though I have a court order that he can't. So he took the money and if I want what I should have gotten I have to pay for a lawyer to get it back. I was counting on that money and now I'm screwed.

Sweyo · Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:15 pm

I am so sorry. How frusturating. I just don't understand parent's who don't want to support their kids financially and emotionally. I am glad you have an income though to get through this.

cort · Wed Apr 13, 2011 12:42 pm

What a goof...and if he doesn't come to see them..who is he to say that they can't go. that boy needs a good swift kick

Ayla · Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:15 pm

JeanellePaige wrote:I feel your pain. My ex claimed my kids on his taxes even though I have a court order that he can't. So he took the money and if I want what I should have gotten I have to pay for a lawyer to get it back. I was counting on that money and now I'm screwed.

That's where I have a definite advantage. I get my W2 quicker, so I file as quick as I get it. Besides...he doesn't even know their social security numbers!

Ayla · Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:16 pm

cort wrote:What a goof...and if he doesn't come to see them..who is he to say that they can't go. that boy needs a good swift kick

I vote for a frontal lobotomy.

Ayla · Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:17 pm

Retiree3 wrote:Nancy, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I can't imagine not seeing my children for that long. Is he ever missing the boat! How can someone treat their children like that? It's his loss.!!!!!

I can't either! I went away for a long weekend to a work seminar once and couldn't even call home the first day and a half becuase I cried every time I thought of them! The sad part is that he only lives less than 10 miles from me and doesn't make the effort to see them. For Callum's 9th birthday 3 weeks ago he sent a card.....just a card. No money, no gift card, no gift, and not even a phone call. Made me really glad I went a little overboard lol.

javalove · Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:20 pm

JeanellePaige wrote:I feel your pain. My ex claimed my kids on his taxes even though I have a court order that he can't. So he took the money and if I want what I should have gotten I have to pay for a lawyer to get it back. I was counting on that money and now I'm screwed.

Here's what happened when my ex tried to pull that crap. I also filed with my kids as dependents. The IRS contacted him, not me, and made him refile since I'm the one entitled to take the kids. Try filing anyway with the kids on your return. If both returns get kicked backed for duplicate SSNs, he's the one in trouble since you have documents showing that you're supposed to have the deduction.

Nancy...sorry your ex is such a jerk. I hope you get the support quickly!

writerlady · Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:43 pm

I'm so sorry that you and the kids are going through this. Unfortunately, this reminds me of my dad.

LyndaKay · Wed Apr 13, 2011 3:54 pm

Ayla wrote:
cort wrote:What a goof...and if he doesn't come to see them..who is he to say that they can't go. that boy needs a good swift kick
I vote for a frontal lobotomy.

I second that!!

Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:28 pm

javalove wrote:
JeanellePaige wrote:I feel your pain. My ex claimed my kids on his taxes even though I have a court order that he can't. So he took the money and if I want what I should have gotten I have to pay for a lawyer to get it back. I was counting on that money and now I'm screwed.

Here's what happened when my ex tried to pull that crap. I also filed with my kids as dependents. The IRS contacted him, not me, and made him refile since I'm the one entitled to take the kids. Try filing anyway with the kids on your return. If both returns get kicked backed for duplicate SSNs, he's the one in trouble since you have documents showing that you're supposed to have the deduction.

Nancy...sorry your ex is such a jerk. I hope you get the support quickly!

ditto what Lisa said to do!

scrapaholic · Wed Apr 13, 2011 7:07 pm

How frustrating, hang in there. I went through so much of the bs for 18 years it ended last June Thank God!

MimaScraps/Lori · Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:56 pm

He only wants them when it hurts you most, but...they're getting older and wiser by the day. His day is a comin'! Try to relax a bit--easy for me to say, I know!

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