Information

[Janell]

****I guess a girl in his class really wanted that desk and ended up asking him if he wanted to trade....lol**** I am glad I didn't make a big deal out of it like many of you suggested and now when something like this happens again I can respond right away with positivity and helping my little ds with bumps in the road!*******


So today was the first day of school and we took my ds into his 2nd grade class and discovered that he was the ONLY one out of 28 kids that doesn't have a top lift-up lid desk. His is one that you slide things in from the front. I could tell right away that this bothered him. I discreetly talked to his teacher and asked her if that would be his desk all year or if he would be getting one like every other child.

She said it probably would be and that they have so many students they have desk shortages....anyways, she suggested maybe he could trade with one of the other children. She thought someone would love to have that desk (personally I don't see that happening, but maybe).

My question is....do you think I should stay on top of this and maybe even go to the custodians and ask about other lift top desks? Or do you think if I make a big deal that his teacher will think I am an annoying, picky parent. I know my son and this WILL bother him all year.

Any suggestions?

[JanetM]

I think that he will be fine with using that one, why don't you point out to him that he's pretty lucky to get that desk as that's the one that the older kids usually get.

[Janell]

I think that he will be fine with using that one, why don't you point out to him that he's pretty lucky to get that desk as that's the one that the older kids usually get.

Oooh I hadn't thought of putting that twist on it, good idea.

[shayla_rose]

Love the idea of putting a twist on it, I understand wanting him to have the same but I also know A lot of schools are having a lot of $$ problems so maybe save that energy for a bigger battle. Hopefully the twist will work and he will feel proud to have it good luck, I have had a few problems already with my son's new school and I know how it feels to want everything to be great for your kid.


However if it is so serious where he can't focus and it is messing with his school work then I would, but I think at the younger ages kids are more willing to try something that makes them uncomfortable (with a twist) then an adult who was always able to avoid dealing with uncomfortable situations.

[RitaS]

I think he might like the idea of having an older student style desk. If he feels insecure having his stuff more open then it might be time to revisit the swap idea, but go for the twist and let us know what he thinks of being the mature one in class.

[bluejeans7]

Well personally Erik hates the flip top desks. He had one two years ago where the top wouldn't stay up very well and it came down and hit him on the nose. I like the idea of telling him he's lucky for getting an "older" kid's desk too.

[aceason]

Wow, that's a big class! I agree on spinning it but ask him what he thinks too. Maybe there is another kid that would like that desk. At least no chance of caught fingers!

[gonecamping]

_{I would wait and see how things go. I like the idea of "older kids" desk. If its still bothering him in a month or so, talk with the teacher again. You know your kid best and you want school to be a fun place not a place for anxiety. Good luck.. We have 3 more weeks until school starts.}

[amberella]

I do think it's odd that they'd just have ONE desk like that in what is obviously a pretty big class... I think they should've seen your son's anxiety coming and mix them up a little more. Kids don't usually realize being "different" can be a good thing, but if you point it out to him it might work. I do, however, think it'd be reasonable for you to ask for a different desk if he is still upset about it.

[ChrissyTina]

I think that he will be fine with using that one, why don't you point out to him that he's pretty lucky to get that desk as that's the one that the older kids usually get.

Perfect solution. I do not think you should press this issue. I'm am an advocate of tough love and my kids have learned that they won't get everything they want every single time. I've also made it a point to teach them that being different is something special and it's super cool. If your son can't learn to accept that his desk is special, how will it be when he's in 4th grade or in middle school? I think that if you let this issue go, you'll be doing him a favor in the long run! Good luck!

[LyndaKay]

I think that he will be fine with using that one, why don't you point out to him that he's pretty lucky to get that desk as that's the one that the older kids usually get.

can't top THAT suggestion!

[Ayla]

I think that he will be fine with using that one, why don't you point out to him that he's pretty lucky to get that desk as that's the one that the older kids usually get.

Oooh I hadn't thought of putting that twist on it, good idea.

That was my thought too. Emphasize that he's trusted to have the special desk.

[Ayla]

I'm am an advocate of tough love and my kids have learned that they won't get everything they want every single time. I've also made it a point to teach them that being different is something special and it's super cool. If your son can't learn to accept that his desk is special, how will it be when he's in 4th grade or in middle school? I think that if you let this issue go, you'll be doing him a favor in the long run! Good luck!

I too feel this way. Sometimes life just doesn't hand you exactly what you want. You deal with it and move on. I think the bigger of a deal you make of it, the more of an issue it will become for him. Keep it low key, it's a special desk, and you'll be fine type thing.

[ChrissyTina]

Ayla, exactly! The bigger the deal made, the bigger the issue perceived.

[scraptag]

I'm not even going to look at the other replys, because this stuff happens a lot in elementary school. My advice would be to let it be. If your son has a real problem with it, you should encourage him to work something out with another student, but in my experience the school's usually aren't that helpful, and it was a disappointment for your son the first day of school, but he has already probably forgot about it. It hurts us more as parents, because we remember how we felt when we didn't get the things we expected, or when things weren't fair, but we have to remember that this is all a learning experience for him, and to not always get what you want is a good thing in the long run. You have to pick your battles, and I don't think this should be one of them.

okay, now I'm going to read the other replies and see if they are similar or not. (who knows, I could be off my rocker! )

[fong33]

I think that he will be fine with using that one, why don't you point out to him that he's pretty lucky to get that desk as that's the one that the older kids usually get.

Great idea from Janet...hope it works.

[Janell]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I am going to let it slide and see how it goes. Try out the tough love and making it "special". I really appreciate you all who share insight and wisdom. I am new at this mom stuff and even though my oldest is in second grade I still have A LOT to learn about the public school system and the "ropes" so to speak.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU!!!

[cynderellaj]

I think I look at things from a different view. Mind you, I have no kids and I am not a teacher. But if I had been the teacher I would have made that desk the "special" desk and then pick one kid every couple of weeks that got to sit in the "special" desk. I would make it a reward for something instead of something different from everyone else's desk.


Does your son have anything else that kids might pick on him for? As much as we hate to believe it, kids can be C-R-U-E-L and pick on you for ANY thing that is out of the "norm". I know this because I was the fat kid whose parents had no money, lost their farm and then helped create the "other" church (it was just a church for born again christians but at that time, it was considered a cult in my little town). Believe me, kids will pick on you for anything. If there is anything, just be sure you talk to him and if it is an issue, address it then. Hopefully noone will really notice and it won't be a problem..



Good luck!

[MOM2SNOX]

I'm not even going to look at the other replys, because this stuff happens a lot in elementary school. My advice would be to let it be. If your son has a real problem with it, you should encourage him to work something out with another student, but in my experience the school's usually aren't that helpful, and it was a disappointment for your son the first day of school, but he has already probably forgot about it. It hurts us more as parents, because we remember how we felt when we didn't get the things we expected, or when things weren't fair, but we have to remember that this is all a learning experience for him, and to not always get what you want is a good thing in the long run. You have to pick your battles, and I don't think this should be one of them.

okay, now I'm going to read the other replies and see if they are similar or not. (who knows, I could be off my rocker! :-D)

You voiced my thoughts exactly! Especially as a parent, WE tend to perceive the unfairness more than the child! Good advice!

[Chan138]

I think that twist on it is a great idea, just might do the trick!