Information

[Art_Teacher]

Okay, so I just finished a very annoying afternoon with a parent of one of my 8th grade art students.


Here's the situation:



Student has been pretty obnoxious most of the year. I have tried talking with him one on one, giving him demerits for misbehavior, seating him by himself when he doesn't work, and have had 3 conversations with Mom in various quarters of the year, about how he doesn't try and he isn't turning in assignments because he wastes all his class time goofing off (painting on the table, on other kids, throwing things, wrestling, to name a few issues). I talked with Mom at interim time this quarter because he was failing and refusing to even try to work on a painting we were doing in class (he is in 8th grade, for crying out loud!) This excuse...I don't like art, so I'm not going to do it, just doesn't fly. Anyway, Mom calls today, because it turns out he failed my class and Math and got a D- in another class, so he is ineligible for fall sports at the high school. She says to me, "I can't believe art is going to keep my son from doing the thing he likes most about school (sports)." WTF! She also says, "I can't believe you failed him because he doesn't like art." Whoa! First of all, I didn't fail him because he doesn't like art. I didn't fail him....he earned a failing grade by not doing projects and not working during class and not turning in assignments. I just enter the grades and they are averaged together and he achieved a 59% (69% is a D-). Not even close! Second of all, he also failed Math. If he had only failed my class and passed Math, he wouldn't be ineligible. I mentioned to Mom that in life he is going to have to do things he doesn't like. For example, he will be required to take certain classes at the high school and if he doesn't pass, he will not graduate. Her snarky response to that was, "Not this high school!" As if other high schools don't have requirements for eligibility or expectations that students will turn in work. I don't grade students on their artistic ability, I grade them on their class participation, following directions, and effort! Sorry if that makes it too hard. I have students with special learning disabilities who managed to get good grades, nowhere near failing. This student's only disability is a Mom who is making excuses and buying all of his bull!



Mom proceeds to call principal (whom I've already made aware of the situation) and when he doesn't change it for her, she sends son in to bother me during my work day pleading his case. Son claims that he turned in the assignment for which he got a zero (a painting) and that it was on the back of another assignment paper, and that I didn't give it back to him. We did 3 assignments this quarter...a clay project, a painting, and a paper-mache project...I wonder which one of those he put it on the back of? Also, I turned back the paintings a couple weeks ago and mentioned that if they didn't get one back, they should be checking as to it's whereabouts. He said nothing then. The assignments he didn't turn in are over 3 weeks late....why didn't he worry about them when they were due? He has been failing since interims, but Mom says nobody made her aware of this. (We have online gradebooks that all the parents have access to their child's grades at all times. Also, the guidance counselor collects a list of failing students in every class every Friday and sends home notes to parents....but she wasn't aware.) I am just outraged that she thinks I should change my grades for her child just because he behaves at home for her and because he has to suffer the consequences. Even if he was well-behaved in class, I wouldn't change his grade....you have to do work to earn a grade.



Am I wrong? Should I help to enable this 14-yr-old to be lazy and to pick and choose what he wants to do in school, rather than teaching him that his actions have consequences and that he does have to do work in order to get credit? Parents...please weigh in. I know your jobs raising teens are tough, but would you really try to get your child off the hook in this case? Maybe I'm just a mean teacher who is crazy and knows nothing about kids?:winkb:

[AnnOminous]

I would call up the Math teacher and see if she is getting hassled, too - and if she is going to cave if so.

[ScrapGoo]

I may not have teens but I don't need to have my own to know that you are 100% right!!! Stand your ground. That mother is nuts to think that her son deserves anything more than he got/earned. Too bad he can't play sports. I guess that is why they call them EXTRAcurricular activities! Maybe (although doubtful) this will teach him to be a little more responsible with his education.

[handerful]

I'd be willing to stretch and give the mother the benefit of the doubt and say maybe she didn't know he was doing poorly earlier in the year. But she is doing him no favors by bullying you or the principal. Maybe if he sat out a year from "doing the things he loves" he would have time to concentrate on his school work. I only have preschoolers & a first grader, so no personal experience, but I would stick to your guns if I were you. Like you said you didn't fail him because he didn't like your class. HE failed because he refused to put forth the effort.

[wahoo_mom]

What I think is that this student's biggest problem is his mom and what he needs is to have only teacher's like you who hold him accountable for his work or lack thereof. She is setting him up for failure.

[SBcrazee]

You are right. I hope the Math teacher & principal don't give in either. His mother is nuts.

[jodcold]

If he had attempted to do the work and just wasn't good at it,it is okay to be lenient. If he didn't even attempt it and was disruptive to members of the class trying to learn, then he should fail and you shouldn't feel at all guilty.

Also, it appears he is this way in several classes, so it is not just yours.

Someone who is having a difficult time in school should be given all the breaks they can get; someone who obviously isn't trying and doesn't care should not be given breaks. What will it teach him when he gets in the real world?

I think you have done the right thing in this case and as long as your supervisors agree, no problem.

[scrappininAK]

don't give in. He's got to take the consequences of his actions. It's not as though he didn't have plenty of warnings. If he doesn't learn now he never will

[deerewife]

Don't give in! It drives me nuts when the parents attempt to bully their way around the system. Rules are rules and they are there for a reason.
The mom claiming she didn't know - I highly doubt that she didn't know. The boy saying he turned it in? All lies!
She's trying to cover for him and will do him more harm than good.

I'd talk with the math teacher and stick together to not change things. It's not going to help him any to know that his mom can complain and then he gets his way.

[Grandma Flowers]

There should be more teachers like you.

[sylgise5]

What I think is that this student's biggest problem is his mom and what he needs is to have only teacher's like you who hold him accountable for his work or lack thereof. She is setting him up for failure.

I totally agree

[MamaK321]

stick to your guns Laura! this boy is already set for failure unless he makes a drastic change in his attitude. Part of that is the mothers fault as well. I can believe that maybe she didn't realize his grades were so bad but the only reason for her being so oblivious is that she didn't pay more attention before it was too late! Who gives a flying monkeys behind if he can't play sports, he needs to get his act together. You certainly don't see students getting away with whining they are much more artistically inclined so can they skip PE class? you're darn right to tell the mother you're not forcing him to like the class, you're not even forcing him to take the class, it is part of his curricular requirements. Art class isn't free time for hoodlums. LOL sorry for my tantrum there, I spent a couple days at my dd's school this week and omg these kids are such PUNKS!

[ElsieB]

You are absolutely right, Laura, and I hope you have a principal that will back both you and the math teacher in your assessments of this young man's work. I'm sure the mother will continue up the chain of authority, but I hope she is met over and over with the reality of her child's disruptive behavior and failure to complete his work. You are right! Don't back down! (On a personal note--this is one reason I like teaching college. I hear all these same excuses from students, but at least I don't have to deal with parents! )

[Art_Teacher]

LOL sorry for my tantrum there, I spent a couple days at my dd's school this week and omg these kids are such PUNKS!

Kristi, you made me snort red wine out my nose!



Luckily, we have a good principal this year. Part of the problem is we have had a revolving door for principals at the middle school and the parents are used to getting their own way. Our superintendent is an interim while we search to hire a permanent one and he'd better not get involved! Let me tell you, it was all I could do when she said "Not this high school," to say "Yay! We don't need to deal with him (and you) at the high school next year!"

[bluetulip]

I've been in similiar situations such as this at my school. I'm a parent as well and can't imagine going and asking a teacher to change a grade. If your expectations were clearly explained, I'm sorry you get the grade that you earn. I actually had a parent show up during a faculty meeting and get upset because I couldn't meet with her immediately because her child was failing. We have to stop giving children everything - they have to realize that life is not this way - you are not just handed everything on a silver plate - you have to earn it!

[Janedee]

ITA! Don't give in! The sooner he learns there are consequences for goofing off, the more likely he is to smarten up and at least make some effort.

[milmomma]

you were totally right! I'm glad you did what was right. He needs a reality check and so does his mother.

[Emsdancemom]

He needs to learn now. Sounds like Mom thinks life and everything in it will just be handed to him. It won't and he needs to learn it now!

[Kara]

You are 100% correct!!! I am sorry...

[1grandma]

I completely agree with all of you. This boy earned his grade and that is what it should be. But, I am thinking that he has another problem that no one is aware of and he is unable to verbalize or perhaps even does not know about. Some kids do not do well in certain settings and he may be one who does not do well in a typical school setting. I know, TOUGH. But, he may need specialized help coping with organization, or motivation.

I speak to this problem because my dh, who is a wonderful man, has a problem like that.

And, yes, his Mom is a butt.