I am torn between a big decission and need help..UPDATED .

carrie123 · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:18 am

Okay here is the situation...I have the opportunity of a life time, one of my long time dreams....I have the chance to go to Italy for 8 days. The cost of the trip will cost me 545 dollars for plane and room. I would just have to have spending money. My husband is urging me to go because he knows it has always been one of my dreams. I have just enough money to do this comfortably, but here inlies the problem...if I go, there will be no family vacation for us this year. We won't be able to go and see my dad and I will have to tell the kids we won't be going anywhere this year. My husband is being really great about it all and like I said is urging me to go. I just feel horrible because he is ALWAYS giving up so I can do things. I think I know in my heart the right thing to do, I just want to see what you guys would do in my situation. Please give me your honest input...

Thanks everyone for your opinions, I did end up canceling my flight with only minutes to spare before I was locked into it. As much as this is my dream, it just would not be the same knowing I was taking away from my family. Italy is not going anywhere but my dad is not getting any younger and I think if something happened to him and I did not get to see him because of me going the guilt would be twice as bad. Just the fact that my husband was so understanding about me going showed me how much he loves me and showed me how much he would give up for me. He is definately a keeper!

ScrapGoo · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:23 am

I think you should go. That is an AMAZING deal for 8 days and Italy is utterly fabulous. It is one of my most favorite places on earth and I can't imagine anyong not loving it there. How often do you really get to do something wonderful for yourself? Your family vacation can turn into some fun day trips from home this year... maybe explore some hidden gems closer to home. The chance to fulfill a lifelong dream like this doesn't come along every day... go, girl, go!!

Sus79 · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:23 am

I vote GO! We all need alone time, and as you said this is a once in a lifetime change, so grab it when you can and your hubbys is ok with it.
Kids don´t need to go on vaccation every year, spend some time at home, going on picnics insted, go to the playground/park/lake what ever, and just have some family time, with out having to rush

-Tracy- · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:28 am

I"m not sure what I would do. I do know that if I had a chance to go on my dream trip, I'd want my hubby along to share the experience with me, kwim?

carrie123 · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:31 am

-Tracy- wrote: I"m not sure what I would do. I do know that if I had a chance to go on my dream trip, I'd want my hubby along to share the experience with me, kwim?

This is where I feel bad. I don't think that is fair that he is the one always giving things up for me. I actually booked the whole thing and the guilt was killing me so I called and cancelled it. Now I don't know if I made the right decision because people are telling me I am stupid for cancelling it.

-Tracy- · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:35 am

I know what you mean. My husband makes a lot of sacrifices for me as well and I always feel so bad for him. BUT on the other hand, he is the one making those decisions and I think he does it because it makes him happy to make me happy, ya know?

ETA: I wouldn't worry about what other people think Carrie. YOU are the one who has to be comfortable with your decision. ((((hugs)))) It may not be what others would do, but it doesn't make it wrong either.

terri04 · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:36 am

I vote go. when you get back plan something really special for the family for a day. make their favorite food, clean their room, give them a movie night, etc. Enjoy yourself, you don't get these opps very often.

milmomma · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:37 am

carrie123 wrote:
-Tracy- wrote: I"m not sure what I would do. I do know that if I had a chance to go on my dream trip, I'd want my hubby along to share the experience with me, kwim?
This is where I feel bad. I don't think that is fair that he is the one always giving things up for me. I actually booked the whole thing and the guilt was killing me so I called and cancelled it. Now I don't know if I made the right decision because people are telling me I am stupid for cancelling it.

That does not make you stupid. That means you wanna put your loved ones first. I would be very torn too. I probably wouldnt go myself. I'm not good at spending lots of money on me. And like Tracy I'd really want my husband. I'd rather save up, spend more and go the two of you as a second honeymoon or something!

Rici76 · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:40 am

I know that this is a hard decision because a mother's we always put our dreams on hold....but, in this case, I think you should go. It is an opportunity of a lifetime, and a great deal. Who knows what other financial blessings may come your way....so just have faith and go have FUN!

Grandma Flowers · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:48 am

I think you should go. It's a lifelong dream and you may never get the chance to do it again. Take smaller family vacations in your local area. Spend the weekend at a motel with a pool or have a camp-out in your back yard. Your kids will enjoy it just as much as a big vacation.

kennabeans · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:51 am

I know what you mean. I always feel guilty when I go to a weekend Crop and my husband is left working to pay for it. I am sure you will make the decision that is right for you and your family. But, int he meantime... {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

carrie123 · Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:52 am

Here is more info...money for us is really tight now, my husband is only working 4 days and my job is only part time, so if I go, I would be using our tax money for pleasure instead of digging us out a very deep hole. I would be going with my sister and her friend where money is not really an issue for them so I also would not want to put a damper on their trip being money cautious.

lpap0807 · Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:04 am

Wow, a very tough decision. Is there any way you could find to make some extra money between now and then? Then you could go and not feel guilty about using the money for your own pleasure. I had a similar trip regarding a trip to Germany next year. I AM going, but since I do home day care for a living, I just added one more child to my group and he will basically pay for my trip! Good luck on this tough decision.

bigsmartass · Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 am

Right now the exchange rates are getting better for traveling overseas... It's a gamble, if you wait, the enchange rate might get better or worse. I'm thinking the US will pull out of this economy first (everyone elses seems to depend on ours) and therefore our exchange rate will probably get better before worse... I'm no economist though, I have no idea!

If you don't usually do stuff for yourself, I'd probably go for it. If you get to do a lot for yourself, then I'd pass. If you go you could deffently make it up to your family in other ways though. Do what makes YOU feel right.

Kimandasmo · Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:20 am

I think you should go.... we as mom's are always giving up things everyday for our children. I do no think they will miss one family vacation....please my girls are 14 and 9 and have never been out of the state and they are fine. This is a chance of a lifetime for you that may not come around again. Go...Enjoy yourself!!!!!!!!

jiffy · Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:47 am

Decisions like this are so very tough. Which way to go? Stay home with family, save money to pay off some expenses. Take that trip of a lifetime that you are so deserving of. Maybe sit down and write all the pros and cons of each choice and see which one outweighs the other in positives. Much good luck with your decision and in the meantime ... sending hugs of support to you.

lilkoala3 · Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:57 am

Ask yourself this: If you go, are you going to be spending the whole time worrying about money or feeling guilty about the family being at home? If so, I wouldn't go. It won't be worth it. But if you think you can go, relax, and really enjoy yourself, I would go if I were you.

Laura Fiore · Mon Mar 16, 2009 12:03 pm

-Tracy- wrote:

ETA: I wouldn't worry about what other people think Carrie. YOU are the one who has to be comfortable with your decision. ((((hugs)))) It may not be what others would do, but it doesn't make it wrong either.

This is SO TRUE!! I think of so many times that I haven't done something special for me because the guilt held me back. Life doesn't always give us opportunities for everything to be fair Carrie...if you have dreamed of this, and you can do it, I would. Your family will understand, and they will love the happiness and joy you bring back to them when you come home! You give to them every day...look at this as an opportunity to fill the cup to give them more!

Don't give up a chance for joy if you don't have to! Life is too short!

Mon Mar 16, 2009 12:09 pm

I'd go and plan something small for the whole family this summer maybe a backyard campout or a day trip somewhere

suslvgeo · Mon Mar 16, 2009 12:13 pm

that would be tough. But I think for that price it is crazy not to do it. Maybe the family can do a small vacation--camping or something so they will not feel it to much?

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