ACOT Message Board

 Oh, Treasa, so sorry you are going through this.  I don't know what to say.  Sounds like his life is out of control and you and your kids are better off without him, even though it hurts so much.  Take some time to grieve, but be strong and let this experience make you a stronger person.  Don't allow it to let you feel like a victim.  There is a line in New Moon that really stood out and spoke to me.  Maybe you can use it.  "It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it."  (((BIG HUGS))) and lots of prayers for you and your kids.

 Sorry you're going through this, Treasa. You're such a sweetheart and deserve lots of happiness. I'm so glad your kids are so great and are there for you. Lots of big hugs!

 (((((HUGS))))) you are a wonderful person and, strong...you have great kids that are there for you; you will get through this...I'm so sorry that you have been put through hell.

 Wow, so very sorry to hear this!
Hugs to you.
Take care of yourself!

 I was with my ex husband for 20 years, and he thought the grass was greener on the other side... I divorced him 5 years ago, and I can not even began to tell you the drama our life became because of the things he was doing... I finally asked myself what was I teaching my children, by staying with a man who acted like that... I didn't wan't my son to think it was okay to treat women like that, and I didn't want my daughter to think it was okay for a man to treat you like that, so I asked him to leave, filed for divorce several months later... It wasn't easy, but when the tears dry up and it's not so painful anymore, you just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go on with your life.... I have a very strong faith in God, and I basically just prayed through... Just lean on your friends and family, you will get through this.... You are better off without him, you have already sacrificed enough for him, don't let him steal your joy....

I don't have any advice, just wanted to send you ((HUGS)).  I'm sorry this is happening, and there's a lot of good advice here.  

 Treasa, I am so sorry. ((hugs))

 This other woman actually sounds like a crystal meth addict which is worse than crack. Meth users typically don't live for more than 5 years from the time they start using. The only reason I bring this up is because I wonder if your dh is using too? If so, things could get a lot worse before they get better.

 You did nothing wrong. You do not deserve this. He is no longer the man you once knew.

 Build a strong support system for yourself and defintely get therapy.

 I have been there as far as the infidelity is concerned (with my ex-dh). He did not change. Things would get better for a while and he'd be right back to his lying-donkey self. It really does destroy the self esteem. All hope is not lost though. With time, love and support you will find yourself again.

 We are all here for you. Anyime, anyday.

 I am so sorry, but you will be OK. Get some help from some therapist, somebody that will listen to you. Cry, yell, get it all off your chest and continue with your life. A new life, you don't deverse somebody like that. You are still young, you will be fine.

 Lots of hugs for you.

 My heart is breaking for you.  I hope you will talk to someone who is not actively involved in the situation.  Sending thoughts and prayers your way!

bumblebby wrote: Treasa, I am so sorry. ((hugs))

 This other woman actually sounds like a crystal meth addict which is worse than crack. Meth users typically don't live for more than 5 years from the time they start using. The only reason I bring this up is because I wonder if your dh is using too? If so, things could get a lot worse before they get better.

 You did nothing wrong. You do not deserve this. He is no longer the man you once knew.

 Build a strong support system for yourself and defintely get therapy.

 I have been there as far as the infidelity is concerned (with my ex-dh). He did not change. Things would get better for a while and he'd be right back to his lying-donkey self. It really does destroy the self esteem. All hope is not lost though. With time, love and support you will find yourself again.

 We are all here for you. Anyime, anyday.

Ditto, Meth addicts usually have sores on their face and their front teeth get messed up as well.

 ((hugs)) I am so sorry that you are going thru this. 

Just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you.  I've never been through anything like this, but my cousin is pretty much going through the same situation.  I have tried to be there for her when she needs to talk about things.  She has a 17 year old dd, who absolutely will not have anything to do with her dad.   My cousin didn't try to hide anything from her.

 I can not offer any advice. But I can give a great big ((HUG)) to u.

 I don't have any advice for you but I am very sorry for the pain you are going through.

 Your guys sounds like he never really loved you but has been using you for a looooong time!  Now he is cutting you loose because he is tired of using you.  Run, don't walk.  He is really doing you a big favor.  My prayers are for you.  God bless you. 

 First of all, and most importantly..... you have some awesome kids.  Yes, you are going through an amazingly tough time but try, as hard as it may sound, to not focus on what you don't have but what you do have.  Get up every day and say what you are thankful for.  Focus on that.  Each day will begin to get easier and easier.  oh, and tell yourself that it's not you, that you are a wonderful person because that is the truth.

 I have no words of advice for you, as I have never been through anything like this.  The only thing I would say is to get angry.  Seriously, get ticked off.  First of all YOU did nothing, except stand by him.  You stood by him through a lot more than anyone I know would have.    You have cried enough and worried enough.  Now it is time to pick yourself up and SHOW him exactly what he is missing.   What he gave up.  Remember you are the best thing he ever had, and he is the stupid idiot who didn't realize it.   He doesn't deserve you, and I hope he realizes it. 

 i am sooo sorry you have to go thru this.  right now i am dealing with a different kind of family drama and i know it just tears you up.  the hurt and wondering when it will all get better is really tough.  they say time heals but it ticks by really slow when you are dealing with big things like that.  i hope you stay strong and find happiness soon.

 I've been through 2 divorces and while none are like your situation - they were tough.  Especially the 2nd!  I lost a part of myself after the second, very destructive to myself afterwards.  Just realize it is not your fault!!!!!!  He frankly sounds like a jerk.  Take care of yourself!

 Sending hugs.