S/O: Thankful for....NOT getting married today

[CatwoMN]

I don't want to hijack Bluesky's thankful thread, but I want to share that today would've been my wedding day. Yep, Christmas weekend. We broke up late last January when I found out that he was talking dirty and discussing marriage and children with another woman on MySpace --- someone he hadn't even met yet to my knowledge. The townhouse lease is in my name so I met him at the door and took his keys the moment he got home. That's right, I attempted to throw him out on the street. It didn't work because he moved to the frozen tundra to be with me and didn't have any friends here (even though he'd been here for more than 3 years.) He had his mommy call and beg me to let him stay until he found a place to live. Luckily that only lasted 2 weeks.Even though I should've seen the HUGE red flags, I was in love and I felt betrayed and devastated. It took months of therapy to recognize that he really was an immature, irresponsible man-child, that he wasn't coming back and that I really didn't want him to. I can admit now, that I knew even before we were engaged that if we got married, we would divorce - the scary thing is I was okay with that. I just wanted to get married so I could start a family. I figured it would either get better or we'd "fix" it later and I'd be a single mom. He saw cheating as a sport and I wasn't the first one to find that out. He swore he had changed and I believed him. Meanwhile he had two kids in two different states who he couldn't afford to pay support for (I did it for him) and one of whom, he couldn't see without the mother present (her rules.)Today, on this unseasonably warm December day that would've been pretty great for a wedding, I am here to shout from the mountaintops that I am thankful that I am NOT getting married. I am thankful that he's out of my life. I miss terribly his little girl who was the object of my (limited) scrapping affections for almost four years.I'm also thankful that in the last 11 months I have finished a bachelors degree and started a masters degree. If he had been here, I would probably still be trying to graduate. Since I didn't have a wedding to pay for, I was able to buy a DSLR and a laptop. My credit took a huge hit while I was paying his bills instead of mine, but I'm working on fixing that so I can buy a townhome or condo next year (crossing my fingers on that one.)Yes, it would've been a lovely wedding and the "familymoon" to Disney would've been so much fun, but I'm better off and while I'm feeling old and "Cat Woman-ish" it's better this way and I know it. I know I haven't been at ACOT long, but I really like everyone that I've "met" here and really enjoy the time I spend here. If I was with him, I probably wouldn't have been able to spend time here or scrapping.So thank you Cherries for welcoming those of us who migrated from the veggie board. I know most of us have really appreciated the warm welcome!!!

[mamma2allboyz]

WOW, you are an amazing women to admit that!! Hats off to you, I too am in a questionable relationship to say the least and I often feel the same as you just poured your heart out on here.  I wont comment to marriage because I am scared that he will cheat again as well, and I know I cant go into a marriage with no trust.  You are a better person for making the right choice for yourself.  I know there is someone special out there for you and be thankful you didnt get married like I did so many years ago.  Now I am a divorced single mother of four boys.  I dont regret that part of it of course I cant imagine my life without any of them but I can tell you while I am happier hes gone, its a struggle I fight everyday. Happy Holidays to you and glad you feel comfortable enough here to share your story.Hugs to you

[sarahwhithers]

Yeah for you! It's amazing to be happy and confident in the choices yo've made!Look forward to seeing you on the board for years to come!

[koala1966]

I'm glad that you found out the truth, and that you made the decision to take care of yourself and to walk away from a bad relationship. Merry Christmas!

[emarie803]

Yay for you!! So glad that you saw the truth and that you decided to get out! Also glad that you peas decided to come over and have some fun here!!

[TinaH]

I say, "Good for you!" You seem like you are in a good place educationally, etc. Keep moving forward. Best of luck.

[-Tracy-]

(((((Hugs)))))) Good for you for turning your life around for the better!!  I'm glad you came over with us. Isn't wonderful to be shown so much friendship, goodwill and support?I second the big thank you to the Cherries from us former veggies!!!  

[SBcrazee]

Cheers to you!!! May your future be bright & happy!

[doglady]

Bless you.  I hope someone special comes into your life this coming year. 

[Kymbo]

What a strong woman you are!   I'm glad you are able to be happy in your environment and life.   Congrats and best wishes for a wonderful New Year

[ArmyWife95]

OMGawd!  I swear to you that I thought at first you were talking about my ex-fiance.  If your location had of been Texas, I would have said his name was Chucker the F()*ker.  He's married now, with 2 kids, but he's probably cheating on her, because before I knew of her, I was with him.  So she in reality has already been cheated on, but it was before he was married.  Oh I could go on and on, but he's not worth it, and I am very happily married!!

[butterfly843]

So glad you broke it off with him before you got married. Hope you have a great christmas and a wonderful new year!

[4peasinourpod]

we cherries are glad you all are here, too and congrats on finding out BEFORE the marriage that he was bad news.  Mr. Right is out there.  (maybe after the thaw, you will find him!)

[moodyonceamth]

Good for you!

[CatwoMN]

Thank you everyone! I just got back from dinner with my sister and one of her boys. No one here in "real life" even realizes that today is the day unless I tell them - that must mean I'm doing well!Your wishes are truly appreciated! I always feel kind of weird that I call myself a scrapbooker and I don't have any kids of my own. (Which is also why I don't post layouts. Most of the ones I have done have other peoples' children in them and I wouldn't post without permission.) I should finish a cat layout or two because goodness knows I have plenty of pictures of them!!! I really want to be a mother, so I do hope to find the right guy in the next couple years. Otherwise, I may look at other options - I'm not opposed to being a single mom and once I'm done with grad school, hopefully I'll find a good paying job so that I would be financially able to take on that responsibility.Thank you again - hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

[Bluesky]

CatWoMN~Thank You for sharing this. That's something definately to be thankful for. Good thing you found out the truth in time, b4 your wedding. He sounded alot like my daughter's birth dad. You are definately a strong person. 

[Suzanne_FL]

WOW....you GO with your STRONG self!!!WTG Girl!!

[Bluesky]

CATwoMN~I would love to see your layouts with cats in it. It brings me a smile. I know one gal here a several years ago, she did awesome job on her dog layouts. I haven't seen her layouts lately. I miss those. So I will definately enjoy to see layouts of pets.

[Midge]

I just want to repeat what everyone else has...you are a great example!

[luvbubbles2]

HAPPY UN-WEDDING DAY!CatwoMN--you are amazing! It took guts to do what you did with regard to getting the keys back from your (ex) -- and calling the wedding off! I wish I had been that BRAVE when I walked  down the aisle with my (now ex-husband) -- as our marriage ended in divorce after3 years! Celebrate the good times you had with his daughter--and keep scrappin' your life!And welcome to this "side" of the board! LOL!!~Sharron